Toe to Toe: Hodes Vs. Schmidley (Hodes)

by Alex Hodes | 5/19/08 4:25am

For over a year, Schmidley and I have debated some of the most pressing matters in sports. Now, with our careers coming to an end and with all of campus in need of closure, we are embarking upon one final debate to crown the unofficial victor. After countless columns, temporary demotions, multiple editors and the occasional hatemail, Schmidley and I feel confident that we can take a stroll down memory lane and parse out our finer moments.Some debates, such as the classic Federer vs. Woods of last spring or Homecoming's Bonfire vs. Football, may never be settled. But in other cases, we have been given the gift of hindsight. Unfortunately for Schmidley, it's a gift that only I can truly enjoy.

Just as recently as two weeks ago, I accurately selected Kobe Bryant as your 2008 NBA most valuable player. But I am not going to fault Schmidley for going with Chris Paul. Shoot, even I can admit the votes were already in.

What I do take issue with is Schmidley's argument -- read his closing justification of CP3 for yourself: "Kobe may be great -- superb in fact -- but Paul is a unique player, and is fast becoming the paragon for excellence in the NBA." Are you kidding me Schmids? Kobe is beyond great, superb, whatever you want to throw at him -- he is the best freaking player in the league. Don't act like you're tossing Kobe a bone by conceding that he is more than good. You're better than that. And for the record, Paul might be unique, but Kobe's not exactly a dime a dozen either. Point Hodes.

Sticking with basketball, I will chalk up another victory for our analysis of the Gasol and Shaq trades this winter. Let me recap for you: "No matter what Schmidley argues, the facts speak for themselves: Gasol makes the Lakers more dangerous title contenders than the Suns." And as Shaq enjoys an extended vacation, Gasol and the Lakers have clearly proven my superiority yet again. But hey, it's not like Schmidley could have foreseen that the Lakers would be playing deep into the playoffs while the Suns were in shambles, past their prime, with the team's coach in New York. Schmidley was too busy losing in the first round of pong tournaments for that.

Too harsh? Sorry Bill. It's not like you haven't had some success. You trumped me in this year's NCAA football and basketball title games. Congrats. On the other hand, you laid this egg prior to the Super Bowl: "I don't see a point in getting amped up for a Giants victory that is not, under any circumstances, going to happen." Tough one. Then again, you could not possibly have been in the right state of mind when you wrote that column: "Unless you're a Giants fan, if you're under the impression the G-Men have a chance, you're sadly mistaken." Apparently, in Schmidley's skewed worldview you were only mistaken for thinking the Giants would win if you had no vested interest in the team. Sound argument Schmids, seriously.

It's okay, buddy, we all have off days -- I'm the same guy who wrote an article boasting about the Knicks' winning record after three games. I will be the first to admit my delusions. But don't think some good didn't come out of said ill-fated column. In that same column, I took Dartmouth Dining Services to task for charging for the waffle fries that come with Homeplate paninis. DDS has since cowered back into its Thayer offices, offering fries free of charge and scoring me one of my greatest triumphs of my Dartmouth career. And don't think I'll let DDS forget that it was I who first called them on their ridiculous cereal pricing at The Remix Formerly Known as Blend. They may have dropped their prices somewhat, but they are still absurd.

I could go on, and on, and on retracing my victories, as they have clearly been plentiful and resounding, but The Dartmouth does not have enough space for that. I suppose we are too busy running worthless op-eds by '11s. Hey freshman, nobody cares what you think, just remember that. You did not think I would forget to take my own hazing advice from Thursday, did you?

Schmidley and I have had some good times providing the campus with a modicum of entertainment (see: Pong vs. Beirut), boring the campus with issues only we care about (see: Polish vs. Potential), wasting everyone's time with issues not even we care about (see: Boxing vs. Mixed Martial Arts), and even going toe-to-toe in debates that will never see the light of day (don't see: Ship vs. Ship). In the end, for all our triumphs and follies, it has been a pleasure going up against Schmidley for the past year. Still, one final victory certainly makes this senior's waning days just a little bit sweeter.