While eating a Bostonian this Saturday -- which is the best sandwich on this campus by far and you're an idiot if you think otherwise -- I noticed that the television near Pavilion was showing E!
As the channel's exclamatory name suggests, I was extremely excited to sample its programming. However, "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" proved to be the final straw on the back of my entertainment camel. (Entertainment camels, for the uninformed, are commonly found in Sub-Saharan Africa.) After watching this family cling to the precipice of fame, I lost faith completely in the spirit of creativity. We watch shows about the family of a girl in a sex tape because her father defended a famous murderer. And that makes them not only famous but entertaining. As Lucy Stonehill's argued ("The Love-Hate Reality," Feb. 25), we secretly love consuming this homogenized pap. A striking similarity emerges in a different realm of anemic creative birth: the Dartmouth social scene.
While "change" is the goal of many administrators and student groups alike, resistance to alterations in the social dynamic seems insurmountable. This may be the ultimate nut to crack for our progressive peers, and it addresses the important issue of cultural reflection on our part.
Simply put, only too often we acknowledge what seem to be flaws in our social dynamic without any effective opposition to it. I bring The Dartmouth Mirror into discussion as my first exhibit; even in name it describes its reflection of Dartmouth culture. Each week The Mirror explores the seedy dealings of '09 Bros and '11 Ditzes. Several of the trends that emerge in The Mirror -- some felonious, others barbaric, some just unpleasant -- would seem to merit some kind of outrage. Yet change -- in the sense of something tangible and progressive -- is a word best saved for Obama and us Jews. We have none of it as a cultural community.
The College has worked to ban the Greek system for years -- and finds itself struggling to do so -- with much student resentment. The proof of Greek indelibility is in the money. The best attended social events are those funded by the comparably indigent students themselves, not the well-endowed College. By this I mean, of course, fraternity and sorority parties. Greek dues compensate the total costs of dance parties, cocktail events and any other house programming. This may just be considered a result of Dartmouth's alcoholism; not a chemical dependence but a social one. And while the College wants to avoid the sticky issue of financially supporting underage drinking, alcohol seems to be the only prerequisite for social interaction.
The greatest change in social history, in fact, was most likely spurred by the introduction of women. Once a violent game, "slam" was tempered for the sake of gender relations into the more benign pong. And that was about it.
Ultimately, as David Glovksy posits ("The Power of Free Booze," Feb 4.), liquor is essential. Even Student Assembly voted to allow alcohol at "alternative space" (read: losers') parties, showing that nothing is more necessary for fun than drinking.
Without alcohol, any Dartmouth social event has lost its greatest appeal. Imagine a dance party without beer in the basement. It would be such an aberration, such a shocking taboo, that the hosting organization might lose its brittle ethyl-based credibility entirely. Even a small change in a party -- one administrator has suggested an eco-friendly "Bring your own mug" theme -- would be disastrous to a fraternity's reputation. And by reputation, I mean how many attractive girls go to its basement. This is not a joke; it's a very topical and highly regarded statistic in many houses.
Until enough people are truly unhappy with the social scene, nothing will change. Judging by the stagnancy we witness -- even in the face of the hemophilic Student Life Initiative (like a Romanov, posturing as powerful but laughably fragile) -- there is silent approbation. I posit an analogy: If you like a girl, the best way to gain her affections is by pretending to dislike her.
The same goes for the Dartmouth social scene. Criticize the fraternity system playfully -- please, go ahead, Dartmouth. We all know you're in love.
