Welcome back, faithful followers of Knapptime. To kick off this fall, we will take a closer look into a sport which, admittedly, I once referred to as "whistle ball" due to the number of times the referee stopped play. That, however, was four years ago. And just as the Dartmouth women's field hockey team puts my small high school's team to shame, so, too, do the women of the team. Well, two of them, at least. The brave duo of Ashley Hines '09 and Kristen McCormick '09 proved themselves worthy of Knapptime fame. Either that, or they live across the hall from me in New Hamp. Whatever the case may be, Hines and McCormick are not just stellar athletes, but also classy and entertaining young women.
The D: What are your personal goals this field hockey season?
Kristen McCormick: To play with confidence. Work my behind off and have the time of my life.
Ashley Hines: I want to work my hardest and leave everything on the field. Chyea, cuz.
The D: When I walked into your room, you guys were blasting music. Are there any lyrics you live by?
AH: Yeah. We have a lot of lyrics. Kristen, what are some?
KM: Haha, one is Bubba Sparxx -- "Losers make excuses, winners make it happen" and another is "I'll two step on your chin," E-40. Do you want to hear it?
The D: Yes, please. More than anything.
KM: Here it comes.
[Sure enough, E-40 pronounces, "I'll two-step on your chin"]
The D: Great. What about --
AH: Ohh! My line is: "I'm not a player I just crush a lot."
The D: What is the best movie you've seen in the last year or so?
KM: I don't watch movies. I have a problem with movies.
AH: The Holiday was good.
KM: Ohh! It's 11:11 make a wish!
The D: Oh my god. Ok, moving on. What's your perfect date?
AH: Haha. I'm not talking about it.
KM: Mine would be ... wait, what's a date? We're at Dartmouth.
The D: I'm pretty sure that Kristen is a much better interview. Ashley doesn't say much.
AH: It's because she has no shame.
KM: I don't get embarrassed; I only embarrass.
The D: This is for Ashley: What is Kristen's weirdest habit?
AH: Hahahah, living. Breathing. I mean there's too many.
KM: I'm not defending it.
The D: Ok, payback time for Kristen. What is Ashley's craziest trait?
KM: Haha, she tries to act like I'm the weird one, but she completely goes along with it.
AH: That's because I guess I am used to it.
KM: Anyway, I'll two step on your chin.
The D: What is your worst nightmare on the field?
AH: When people throw in the towel and don't work hard.
KM: Ohh, good one Ash. Getting a shot to the head during corner defense.
AH: Yeah, that's a scary position to be in.
The D: What are you looking forward to the most this fall?
AH: I'm excited to see people I haven't seen because I was off in the summer, chyea cuz.
KM: I'm excited to get done with this term cause I've been on for seven terms.
The D: Are you going to the Chi Gam dance party this weekend?
AH: No. We're away at Penn.
The D: What is the best dance floor song?
KM: I'm going to say there is no answer to that question.
AH: "Smack That," by Akon.
KM: I disagree with that completely.
AH: How about ...
[Starts singing unrecognizably]
The D: Ok ... Do you have a favorite comedian?
KM: Community?
The D: Comedian.
KM: Community? What?
AH: Comedian, Kris.
KM: Oh my God -- Dane Cook. We're getting married.
AH: Not me. I'm not very ... what's that word?
KM: Zealous?
AH: No ...
KM: Cultured?
AH: No. Forget it. I like Dane Cook, too. My favorite skit is the movie theater one.
KM: I like Stewart from MadTV. Here's my impression:
[Does an impression]
The D: Wow. Ok, finish this sentence: After a hard practice, I ...
KM: We take ice baths and listen to "Louie Louie" by the Kingsmen.
AH: That's not true!
KM: It is for me! It's always on my iPod.
AH: We made dance routines in the locker room.
The D: Can you show me?
AH: Sure!
[Does whole dance routine. It is very intricate, and clearly took hours of practice. I decide to end the interview there.]
