Being a confused international student with no understanding whatsoever of most American college concepts, the word homecoming does not tell me much. Even for American students the idea of such an event strikes me as rather vague. It is hard to discern the attraction of running like maniacs around a fire while being attacked with insulting comments from upperclassmen. But if being insulted leads to being accepted into the Dartmouth family, than so be it. After all, we have all been the worst class ever, and it may be the satisfaction given to upperclassmen during this ritual that will ultimately redeem us from our worthlessness as a class. Believe it or not, but we do need you guys more than ever as stress, homesickness and bad time management are beginning to get to us, and I am begging you: Give us a chance!
President Wright was first to utter the key words of homecoming at convocation: "welcome home". Small as the words may seem, they left a surprisingly strong impression on me. These words are loaded with meaning and importance, as they mark the shift from being clueless freshmen to being a part of something greater than just an institution: the family of which we will be members for the rest of our lives. Looking at Dartmouth as a family also helps me to understand the mentality of upperclassmen when it comes to judging first-year students. After all, we are nothing but clueless younger sisters and brothers who are trying to find our place in this bubble. Just as babies learn how to talk and walk, we learn how to handle the everyday life at Dartmouth. Overwhelmed with work, socializing and sickness, I ever too often feel as if I am about to lose it. Useless as we may be, we need our older siblings' guidance and support, not to mention patience.
As weeks pass by quickly, I find myself falling into new patterns of habits and daily rituals. However, I still have moments when I am wondering what I am doing here, and if I am even worth being here. These are the moments when I need my older, wiser and more experienced upperclassmen to lead me. I do not intentionally run into the wrong classroom, break the unwritten rules of frats, suck at pong or ask stupid questions. I do it because I am a confused freshman who is desperately trying to fit in -- worthless or not. I have yet to find out what magical powers the rite of homecoming has to offer me but all I am asking for is a sense of security and support. I want it to be the moment when I look around me and say: THIS is why I am here.
No matter how worn-out a cliche, I want to believe homecoming to be the one event that could unite all Dartmouth students. The mere perception of homecoming to be an initiation rite helps to unite us and render us support when we are pulled between first-year excitement and homesickness. Anxiety and feelings of inadequacy affects most of us at some point and trust me, we feel worthless enough already. You do not have to remind us. Like most other things, homecoming will be what we want it to be. For me, that is the start of a new era in my life and, hopefully, the best time of my life so far. I hope that homecoming will be the moment when the upperclassmen follows president Wright's example and greet us with the words: "welcome home."
