When I was eight, my parents sent me to a child psychologist. I was an anxious little kid. Fast-forwarding years later, in high school and college, many of us were and are overbooked, overstressed and overworked. This means that even the smallest of concerns could easily disrupt the delicate balance of commitments of a Dartmouth student. Unfortunately, the general facts of life tell us that these concerns will inevitably come along, and that at some point, we must deal with them.
Thankfully, we do have resources at our disposal. Much of the motivation for this column came from a visit from Dick's House staff psychologist Donna Steinberg to my Undergraduate Advisor staff meeting. Dick's House offers a variety of counseling services, which are so popular as to be constantly overbooked (for those complaining, apparently the wait at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center is much longer). Most striking to me, half of each graduating class comes to Dick's House at least once over the course of their time at Dartmouth. Hearing this made me realize that while it oftentimes seems we are alone in our struggles, this is not the case.
Upon hearing this statistic, I wondered why I knew so few people who had sought help, or did I? My friends are not perfect, so why hadn't more of my friends mentioned to me that they were having problems?
For the most part, motives vary from person to person. As someone who sees a lot of students, Steinberg says that "there's a wide mix of how students talk with their friends or classmates about getting help...Some think it's a much more private issue and they're not as willing to share." Experience tells me that Steinberg is right.
Of those who do not seek help, there are many who probably should. But why is it that they do not? This can be attributed to many factors. People with specific personality types (type-A people, those who do not want to burden others with their problems, etc.) are less likely to seek help, as are people whose cultures and/or families may frown upon getting help. Steinberg noted, "Some families talk about getting help as easily as they do going to the dentist," whereas other families do not seek help at all and may look at it as a sign of weakness. Additionally, Steinberg added that it was "more than just family, but other influences, such as in the broader culture, as well."
One of my friends chimed her own experience: "I never sought counseling before Dartmouth, not because I was previously happy and carefree, but because I faulted circumstance. Adolescent angst, my uptight high school, passive-aggressive girly antics, my parents -- these were all obvious explanations. It was much easier to digest my self-prescribed medication of a change of scenery than recognize that perhaps more serious causes needed to be addressed. Therapy seemed too self-indulgent, too much of a cop-out. I was highly functional (or at least considered myself to be anyway) and I thought that I could handle everything myself. As cliche and typical as it sounds, I was not prepared to admit to myself that I needed help because in some warped sense, it meant that I had failed. I'm not even a particularly competitive person and I would hardly consider myself type-A in any way. But for some reason, the idea of telling my family that I had issues big enough to warrant additional medical bills, was a burden it took me way too long to face." Though this experience is just one person's story, it could very well apply to numerous people I know.
At least from my own experience, one reason why students at Dartmouth might be hesitant to seek help is because they have had so much success in the past. I have not been back to seek professional help in over a decade, in large part due to my own inability to either admit my own helplessness to anyone other than myself. Dartmouth can be a pressure-cooker, filled with type-A people who appear successful, and the idea of showing weakness in a climate like this seems unseemly to most people. No one wants to be vulnerable, and no one wants to feel like the person who cannot help themselves. In the end, we all battle our own demons, and it can only help to talk to someone about them. And if nothing else, we can be comforted by the knowledge that at least half of our class feels the same way.
