During Homecoming 2002, however, a group of men, none of whom were students or alumni, followed Kane back to her room and sexually assaulted her. The combination of this event and family problems convinced Kane to take a medical leave. This term is her first back at Dartmouth.
"I was terrified to come back here. I was terrified of the memories," Kane said. "Sometimes it seems like every brick of every building reminds me of what happened. Even the smell of the classrooms brings it back."
Kane shared her experience along with other anonymous and non-anonymous victims of sexual assault on Thursday night at Speak Out, an event held at Collis Common Ground.
Poems, stories and artwork addressed the pain of the event, the experience of feeling silenced and the difficulty of speaking out. Some works directly addressed the assaulter and included details of the actual event.
"I remember everything. I remember the way he tasted like beer and my own blood from him holding my mouth shut; I remember the way he smelled and how heavy his body was and how I couldn't breathe," Kane read.
All of the readers wore Dartmouth clothing in order to emphasize that the intention of the event was not to speak against Dartmouth but to raise awareness of sexual assault. Sexual Assault Peer Advisors were also present in the audience to provide support after the performances.
"My way of dealing with the abuse was to internalize everything. I didn't trust anyone and I hated myself. I saw myself as little more than an object that this man used for his sexual release," Kane said.
Soralee Ayvar '07, Amanda Cohen '09 and Lense Gebre-Mariam '09, organized the event. (The latter two are members of The Dartmouth staff.) Their goal was to illustrate the effect of sexual assault at Dartmouth and to encourage people to speak out about their own experiences.
"Sometimes you can throw around statistics, but it takes something personal for people to get it," Ayvar said. "This event is to break the stigma around sexual assault and push for people to be able to speak out and be well received when they do."
Speak Out is a student-run event and independent of any campus clubs. The three organizers accepted works via BlitzMail or anonymously through a Hinman Box.
Both male and female students read pieces and attended the event, and a bulletin board in the back of the room displayed anonymous works of art and poetry. The Rockapellas performed the song "Gratitude" by Ani DiFranco.
Participants in the event hoped that their honesty would touch audience members and encourage other victims to come forward.
"The shame associated with sexual assault means that many victims suffer in silence. The more people who can share their stories, and eliminate that guilt and shame, the easier it will be for more victims to come forward and begin to feel themselves," Kane concluded.
