Despite the 79th Academy Awards ceremony's socio-political aspirations, which consisted of "going green" and far too much Al Gore/Leonardo DiCaprio self-congratulation for my taste, Sunday evening was about the beautiful people. Although there were a few surprises among the award winners, fashion-wise most of the stars played it safe. Although that meant few brilliant moments in the arenas of both good and poor taste, the evening was an enjoyable viewing experience, except for the sections of interpretive dance, in which the Academy Awards ceremony officially became a parody of itself.
Stylistically, host and comedienne Ellen DeGeneres was disappointing. Just because you're providing the comic relief does not mean that you have to wear a burgundy velvet suit that belongs in an Atlantic City lounge. But the night wasn't all about the emcee.
Highlights included last year's best actress winner, Reese Witherspoon, who with every photo-op seems to be trying to make Ryan Phillippe regret their divorce for the rest of his life. Her layered gown by Olivier Theyskens was subdued in its rich blue-black color, but the tailoring was eye-catching. Gwyneth Paltrow continued to push boundaries with her choice, a peach Zac Posen dress that was also unique in its construction. Her outfit was a contrast to Penelope Cruz's, which has definitely been done before. It was also a more successful experiment than, say, Jennifer Lopez's try at death by strangulation at the hands of all the jewels wrapped around her dress. Cameron Diaz, was also eaten alive by what I assume was the "collar" of her white and inexplicably wrinkled strapless dress.
Although also encrusted with crystals, Rachel Weisz's gown was far more elegant; it harkened back to Hollywood's golden age. However, the effect was completely ruined by whatever it was that hung around her neck. Most successful in that old-school Hollywood glamour was Cate Blanchett, looking perfect in a grey sheath by Armani.
Best actress winner Helen Mirren is an elegant woman, but in the future, she should take care to not match her hair and dress color scheme. I don't care which one changes. Fellow nominee Meryl Streep looked like she took an unsuccessful stab at playing Olsen twin with all of her dark bag-lady layers.
Diane Keaton, who capped off the evening by presenting the best picture Oscar to director Martin Scorsese for "The Departed," showed how to cover up an older body and still look hot. Not quite as hot but also looking like she was around Keaton's age, Kirsten Dunst arrived in an odd combination of nightgown, feather boa and polo shirt.
Most disappointing was best supporting actress winner Jennifer Hudson's drably brown frock. Even worse was the alien-like jacket that completed the outfit on the runway, making Hudson look less like a "Dreamgirl" and more like an extra in a B-list sci-fi movie. I understand that for a full-figured woman like Hudson, picking a dress in size-zero-worshipping Hollywood must be near impossible. I thought that might be a valid excuse until later in the ceremony when she looked absolutely amazing in a red gown during a performance of the nominated "Dreamgirls" music. So no excuse there.
Other disappointments included those joined-at-the-hip Aussies Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts. Kidman's dress was great, except for the bow at the neck that would be more appropriate on, say, a puppy to be given on Christmas morning. Watts' dress, on the other hand, was elegant but for some strange "Flashdance" type of off-the-shoulder sleeve thing going on.
Men often get left out of the outfit-by-outfit analysis of the ceremony, mostly because there are only so many directions one can go with the tuxedo, and on Sunday I didn't see any leisure suits or wacky colors (although Francis Ford Coppola's blue bow tie was a suspect choice). Therefore, my own analysis comes down to matters of personal grooming.
Men of Hollywood, the Academy Awards ceremony is not -- I repeat not -- the time to try out that new hairstyle. When the curtain rose for a musical number with Will Ferrell, I was surprised that the Academy had chosen this year to stage a tribute to the music of Simon and Garfunkel. Or at least that's what I thought Ferrell's curly mess of hair implied. In fact I was wrong -- what followed was a lyrical complaint by comic actors at their collective snubbing at awards shows.
As for Will Smith and Ryan Gosling, I don't care if you need to grow beards for your next dramatic role. That process starts the morning after. Sunday night, the little fuzz you had going looks like you forgot to shave, or perhaps like you were going for a more hygienic Colin Farrell look. Both are bad choices. Leonardo DiCaprio just looked greasy. And last, but certainly not least, Jack Nicholson may have gone insane years ago but has never looked the part more than now, thanks to a completely shaven head.
It's a really bad sign when I looked at Tom Cruise and my first thought was not, "Oh look, the crazy man," but "Wow, he looks good!" It brought me back to the early '90s. To continue the positive notes on the masculine portion of Sunday evening's events, best actor winner Forest Whitaker looked great and, more importantly, delivered the most coherently moving acceptance speech of the evening, speaking of the connection each actor strives to make with each audience member.
Overall, the Academy Awards were a stylishly satisfying event. There was enough glitz and glamour to satisfy magazine readers for the next few weeks, and the few misses weren't all that offensive. However, a faux pas on par with Bjork's infamous swan dress isn't necessarily a bad thing for film and fashion buffs alike. One can always hope for such a scene next year when the Oscars turn 80.
