Maggie Talks To Strangers

by Maggie Severns- | 11/10/06 6:00am

I've never understood why sorority formals are a bona-fide "get out of jail free" card for misbehavior. Regardless, this unspoken rule holds true every term: if it happens during a formal, social norms need not apply. Want to pass out for few minutes under the bar? Hook-up in a bathroom stall? Carpe diem, Greek women! You'll have a ball, while only loosing a fraction of the respect you'd have sacrificed had your stint taken place at a frat.

Unfortunately, when it comes to finding a date, things are not always so carefree. Finding yourself at a loss? I'm an expert on most things and would suggest asking one of the fine young men of the Dartmouth Class of 2010 to accompany you. The energy and enthusiasm of a freshman will prove ideal for dancing the night away and listening to you talk about "the sisterhood."

Please allow me to present my editor's picks for this fall's formal season: Justin Lerman, James Pyo and Zachary Gottlieb. A diverse bunch of 'shmen, these bachelors were recommended to me for their affability, as well as their date-ability. They'll bring flowers. They excel at flattery. They're licensed to chat. Seize the day, sisters.

Justin Lerman '10

Extracurricular Activities: Heavyweight Crew, Dartmouth Aires.

Credentials: Tall, Dashing. Speaks a few words of Italian. Will whisper "sweet nothings" in your ear.

What would make you a great formal date?

There are just so many things. Well, I know how to treat a girl right, and I would be more than willing to serenade, especially after a few beers. I bring to the table a good blend of rageyness, respectability and responsibility.

You're quite the charmer. What else do women usually see in you?

They see one big hunk of meat. No, I'd say an all around good time. I'd say that I'm funny and fun-loving.

So you fancy yourself a sensitive type?

Yeah. That's right. Totally me.

James Pyo '10

Extracurricular Activities: Lacrosse goalie, SHEBA, LEAD mentoring program.

Credentials: Don't be coy with me, reader. Mr. Pyo is an athlete, dancer and volunteer. Surely, you recognized this "holy trinity" of eligible bachelorhood when you saw it.

What would make you a great formal date?

I'm pretty laid back, outgoing, I dress well every so often. I'm pretty easy to talk to. I'm a friendly guy, a nice guy I guess. I hang out. I'm chill.

Indeed you are. But what sets you apart from the crowd?

I would say they should definitely pick me because, whatever kind of girl you are, whatever you enjoy doing, I'll entertain that. If you're down to hang out and chill, I'm down to do that. If you want to get up and dance, I can do that too.

Zachary Gottlieb '10

Extracurricular Activities: Radio show, intramural volleyball, Women in Leadership, The Dartmouth Review.

Credentials: Conversationalist, musician, eccentric. Enjoys suit-jackets.

What would make you a great formal date?

I do like treating my dates well. It's their time to have fun. I like to offer the arm hook. I'll be the slightly taller man in the dark suit that escorts her. And dances. I'm a nice Jewish boy from Westchester. I'm an old-time romantic, I'd say. No criminal record. Well, as an adult.

What do you look for in a girl?

I look for someone who is enthusiastic. School spirit is always good. Someone who doesn't get completely tanked is probably good -- vomit's hard to dry-clean. Also I forgot to mention that I'm a chef. I'd be willing whip up pancakes. I'm a singer-songwriter, too. So, look at me: I can be emotional through song. Great for "wooing."

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