NERD ALERT! Because of my intense dedication to journalistic excellence, I have spent the better part of the last few days glued to my computer screen reading the diaries of strangers. No, I'm not a psycho-hacker with the ability to hook up to your computer and check out all your govy papers/ Direct Connect porn/ private ruminations on your burgeoning existential crisis brought on by your failure to hit a single cup in that game of tree last night ("Clearly I didn't hit any cups because they weren't really there" ... Keep telling yourself that, buddy). On the contrary, brave authors voluntarily (gasp) offer up their diaries in the form of online journals or blogs.
ther than every diary-keeping middle-schooler's worst nightmare, what are blogs, you ask? (Don't be alarmed if you don't know; it probably just means you're super sweet). In my initial attempt to answer the aforementioned question, I immediately consulted my handy dandy dictionary widget which provided me with the following definition: Blog |blg| (noun): weblogs run by twenty-something Americans with at least an unhealthy interest in computers.
It seems the folks designing widgets over at Apple are moonlighting as comedians and/or should lay off the glue. My recent foray into the wonderful world of blogdom has cultivated some serious objections to this outdated characterization of bloggers (Blogger -- geek-speak for those who write blogs). While this was probably true back in the day, currently bloggers represent virtually all demographics from a myriad of diverse populations (including Dartmouth students, but more on that later). In fact, that's kinda the thing that makes blogs sooooo cool. Blogs are the first major step in the democratization of media. In the pre-blog dark ages, you had to be semi-important, semi-talented or semi-connected in order to get your message on a mainstream media outlet. Nowadays, any non-important, non-talented d-bag can post anything they darn well please for the world to see. The only connection necessary is an ethernet cable (or a wireless card for us tech-savvy Dartmouth peeps).
The craziest part about the whole thing is that people are actually interested in what these average Joes and Janes have to say. The most popular blogs boast hundreds of thousands of hits a day. Now, I know you're thinking that that's a pretty big audience for some nerd rambling about what they had for breakfast and their growing suspicions that their (imaginary) girlfriend is cheating on them. You're right. Instead, most of these larger blogs tend to stray from the online diary paradigm in favor of some particular subject. Among the most popular blog topics are politics, celebrity gossip and technology. (Side note: According to the "US Weekly" blog, Britney Spears is pregnant again. Seriously, how did I survive before I read blogs?) No matter what kind of wacky sh*t you're into, there's bound to be about a billion-thousand blogs out there written by other freaks who enjoy [insert interest you are way too embarrassed to list on your f-book profile] just as much, or probably even more than you do. Because of blogs, communities of people with common interests are no longer subject to geographical constraints. Nerds of the world unite!
Scattered among the endless expositions on every imaginable subject, there's actually some really fascinating stuff out there in blogland, if you can find it. Enter technorati.com. Technorati is to blogs what Google is to, well, everything. The site also tracks the popularity of blogs so you can find cool stuff even if you don't know exactly what you're looking for. According to Technorati, the third most popular blog in the blogosphere is called PostSecret (http://postsecret.blogspot.com) and is described as "an ongoing community art project where people mail-in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard." Frank Warren, the man behind it all, sorts through the thousands of postcards he receives from anonymous senders every week and publishes a selection on the site. The postcards range from hilarious to heart wrenching, but perhaps the most interesting part of it all is the enormous response the project has stirred up. At the time of this publication 29,273,550 people had ventured onto PostSecret looking for a glimpse into someone else's life.
The blogosphere is also home to many a "social experiment." One of my personal faves is called "one red paperclip" (http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com). The basic idea is that this dude named Kyle needs a house but apparently lacks the conventional means of attaining one. He did, however, have in his possession a single red paperclip. His mission is to engage in a series of trades for progressively more valuable items that will eventually result in the final trade for a house. Since his first trade on July 12, 2005 (red paper clip for a fish-shaped pen), Kyle has made eleven additional trades, and is currently offering an afternoon with Alice Cooper. Kinda sweet, huh? Who knew the American dream of homeownership could be accomplished with only a bendy piece of wire and a laptop?
Look how much you've learned already, and you haven't even lifted a cursor yet. But wait, there's more. Here's a short list of some things I've gathered on my virtual travels:
1.Diet Coke + Mentos = Rapid Carbonic Geyser
2.Drano + aluminum foil = way bigger explosion that Mentos and Diet Coke.
3.Rapper Angel Boi has a song about his foot fetish.
4.There's a whole lot of schwag out there in cyberspace (see item #3).
5.Celebrities leave their apartments in New York City (http://gawker.com/stalker).
6.People still watch American Idol.
7.Popular bloggers get book deals, become blog celebrities and have special blog celebrity conventions where they all hang out and proximity-blitz each other much like the goings on of first-floor Berry.
8.Popular New York blog-queen Stephanie Klein (http://stephanieklein.blogs.com) has gotten a book deal, movie deal and a TV series; all you English majors should chill with your Shakespeare and get to those computers if you ever want to be successful.
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Dartmouth students say ridiculously stupid things when they think no one else is listening (greenoverheard.blogspot.com/).
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Dartmouth students write ridiculously stupid things on their blogs when they figure no one they know will find it. I found many sites that, if revealed to the student body, would inevitably incite mass rioting as well as a large scale storming of McNutt that could only be quelled by the promise of Seor Furstenberg's job on a platter.
Since I'm sure Karl is actually a pretty okay Dude, despite some of the poorer decisions he's made, I won't be including links to any students' blogs in this article. I actually struggled with this ethical quandary for quite some time. On the one hand, these people knowingly posted their verbal-vomit in a public venue and therefore give up their right to privacy. But on the other, I guess I'm just not mean enough to single out these people for total humiliation, even if they don't realize that they should be embarrassed about some of the stuff they're putting out there. Don't despair though, I will offer you a tidbit of what one unidentified Dartmouth student sees as information worthy enough to share with, like, everyone on Earth who owns a computer.
"Next weekend I plan to go to Chicago for a visit. And I also plan, sometime within the week, to purchase a new purse. I don't know, should I get a Fendi Spybag? I've been wanting one forever, and it's high time I lived a little. But then again, $2,000 for a bag seems a tad excessive. I have to think about this long and hard. The other bags I'm considering are a plain, sleek black Fendi I saw at Saks and loved. Or, a Louis Vuitton Speedy 30. I think they're really adorable. I already have the Louis Vuitton Manhattan PM bag, but I think it's a little ... I don't know. I think I'm going to trade it in for a different bag but I don't know which one to get. I'll have to ask Jen* when she gets home. She's the queen of all fashion advice."
**Name changed
Intrigued? Me neither. But just because this chick is clueless, don't let that color your impression of the entirety of personal blogs (or of the intelligence/vapidity level of the student body for that matter). Some of them actually offer valuable or interesting information and insights. I'd quote some of those, but let's face it, the dumb ones are way funnier. Feel free to hit up Technorati and let the pearls of wisdom you come across wash over you at your own pace.
Seriously though, don't be afraid of blogland just because you are scared to embrace your inner geek. Take notice of the phenomenon that's growing up around you. Blogging represents an enormous opportunity for the average person with something to say. And if what's being said is actually valuable or entertaining, people will read it. Heck, even if it has zero value, people might still read it -- I mean, people do still watch "American Idol," so why not? The dissemination of information has never been so easy or so open. Take advantage of it.
