A la Professor Higgins from the musical "My Fair Lady," etiquette guru Peter Post hosted a four-course dinner last night in Collis to teach students the do's and don'ts of table manners.
Post stressed the importance of manners to success in the business and dating worlds, but he noted that the confidence, not perfect table manners, is paramount. If one does not know exactly what to do at a formal dinner, it is best to simply mimic those seated near oneself, he said.
Post called table manners more important than other courtesies such as holding doors because of the social, yet "gross," nature of meals.
"We are trying to take food with forks and spoons somehow, and shove them into our mouths, chew it, and at the same time try to carry on a conversation, which should be the focus of meals," Post said.
His advice ranged from the obvious, common-sensical, such as not chewing with your mouth open, to the extremely helpful.
For many, knowing which side of the plate the bread plate and numerous wineglasses are located is a difficult task. Post suggested a mnemonic device to solve this common confusion.
Post said to form small circles on both hands with your thumb and index finger, thereby creating a lower-case "b" with the left hand, and a lower-case "d" with the right hand. The "b" on the left stands for "bread," as the bread plate is always on the left, and the "d" stands for drinks, as glasses are always on the right.
The variety of silverware can often confuse those not schooled in proper etiquette. Post said to always use silverware on the outside of one's plate first, such as the smaller salad knife and soup spoon, before using the larger main course knife and fork.
Post said several distinctions separate manners in the business and social settings.
For instance, in social situations, it is proper etiquette for a man to stand if a woman in the vicinity is excusing herself. Post said his surveys showed that over 60 percent of women appreciating men standing in that situation. In a business setting on the other hand, he said, men should never treat women any differently than they would other men, and thus should remain seated.
At a business function, it is not proper to share food or offer samples of one's dish. Among friends, however, he said this practice is acceptable. Similarly, one shouldn't dip bread in a sauce or dressing in a business setting, but may socially, but even then only with a fork and knife.
If a fruit basket is presented for a business luncheon dessert, Post said it is best to avoid difficult or embarrassing varieties. Small fruits, such as cherries or strawberries, should be consumed by hand, but larger ones such as apples, peaches, or pears, must be first sliced and de-seeded with a fork and knife. He advised against choosing a banana in a business situation.
"I just wouldn't pick a banana for dessert at a business dinner," Post said. "At home I'd pick it up and enjoy it."
Post also addressed the always-pressing concern of flatulence at the table. He said that to avoid a situation where blame needs to be assessed, one should politely and discretely excuse oneself and pass gas in the bathroom, or at least away from the table.
At a cost of only $10, attendees received cream of broccoli soup with Parmesan croutons, field green salad with vinaigrette dressing, chicken cacciatore on the bone over a bed of linguine, and tiramisu with an espresso crme sauce, catered by the Hanover Inn. Director of Student Life Linda Kennedy said that the dinner was partially subsided by the Hanover Inn and Bigger, Better, and Later.
Post is the great-grandson of the famed Emily Post, who literally wrote the book on etiquette, aptly titled "Etiquette" in 1922.
