"We have to start talking about this the way we talk about race," said former Syracuse Orangeman and NFL quarterback Don McPherson yesterday in a speech about the dangers of sexual violence. The speech, which focused on male attitudes toward women and relationship violence, encouraged men to start a dialogue about sexual abuse.
McPherson opened his presentation with an observation: "Adults are full of crap." He illustrated the connection between childhood experience and adult behavior by asking his listeners to recall the their earliest experiences with adult drinking, drunk driving and exposure to alcohol ads. McPherson contrasted this behavior with the emotionally detached public service messages and school curricula that attempt to discourage drinking. "You learn very quickly the hypocrisy of the adult voice," said McPherson.
McPherson argued that the same learning process that perpetuates dangerous drinking habits also increases the frequency of sexual violence.
"Jack beats Jill ... Jill is a beaten woman. She is stigmatized because of what Jack did. The whole point of starting a discussion is to get Jack into the dialogue; we have to make sure that Jack doesn't create other Jacks," McPherson warned.
He stressed the role that a father or role model can play in teaching violence to future offenders. McPherson read an excerpt from a court document in which a ten-year-old boy admired and justified his father's violent actions against his mother.McPherson also emphasized the subtle effect that language plays in shaping attitudes towards men and women. He argued that telling young boys to "be a man" and suppress their emotions is the first step toward breeding callous attitudes toward others, especially women. "Is that a problem? If my emotions don't matter, why should yours?"McPherson called attention to sayings or insults that implicitly degrade women. He asked the audience to imagine abusive or demeaning language being applied to a family member or loved one: "We do this to each to other. We call her a 'piece,' 'some,' 'it.' That's your mother."
According to McPherson, the solution to sexual abuse begins with men talking about the issues with other men.
"In order for it to end, we need to confront other men. Slavery and Jim Crow ended when white people started confronting other white people," McPherson argued.
Early in his presentation, McPherson clarified a rumor about his motivation for speaking about sexual violence; "I was never an abuser," he said. Rather, this campaign grew out of his earlier charitable efforts to discourage violence and risk-behavior.
The Men's Project, which operates with support from The Center for Women and Gender, provided the majority of the funding for the event.
The speech was delivered in Dartmouth Hall to an audience primarily composed of members of the Dartmouth Greek community. Well over a hundred students from College fraternities and sororities attended the event, which was financially co-sponsored by fifteen Greek houses.
