I have an exciting life. I watch television, read magazines and newspapers, all in the search of the strange and unusual in the sports world. From Anna Kournikova to the Christian Wrestling Federation, you as readers have come to expect and assume that when you hear from me, you're going to hear about something different.
Last Thursday afternoon, during commercials of an MTV airing of a Britney Spears special, yours truly was flipping channels looking to pass the time and gain some fodder for a possible column. What I saw took my attention away from Britney for the duration of her half-hour segment.
On ESPN2, the Entertainment and Sports Network 2 (emphasis on sports), I became captivated by the United States Magic: The Gathering Nationals held in Orlando, Florida at the Disney World Complex. Normally at this time on ESPN2 I was used to seeing women's billiards or funny-car racing, but I was pleasantly surprised to see something different this time.
For those who don't know what Magic: The Gathering is, it is a role-playing card game played mainly by two players at a time in which "each player represents a powerful wizard battling for control of a magical plane of existence in a land called Dominia." (Taken directly from the official Magic website). The cards used often represent mythical creatures that battle, not in real life (hence the term "mythical"), but in the players heads. A master player will be able to see this imaginary battle blow for blow, which makes for a more realistic encounter and better gameplay.
This particular match also included player profiles, masterfully done by the ESPN crew, and the one I caught was about Trevor Blackwell, the "hardest working man in Magic." The man must put blood, sweat and tears into the game to get that title. Here's what he had to say about it:
"Tiger Woods has to play golf everyday to stay on top of his game, and I feel the same way about Magic," Blackwell said. "If I take a couple days off from playing, I just don't feel sharp."
I can sympathize with this because for instance, his deck might get shuffled improperly, or he might not be able to command his goblins or spells as quickly as he would have been able to had he been in mid-season form.
What struck me as intriguing from the get-go was the role of referee of this match. The only conclusion that I could infer was that he was a former player that had to retire early because his cards got bent the wrong way or he hyper-extended his dealing fingers. But either way this young man (the kid looked about 14) was in charge of one of the biggest matches of the year on the professional Magic circuit, and the only two things I saw him do was yawn and make one gesture similar to that of a delay of game in football (where the arms are laid together parallel to the ground). Whether the two were related I'm not sure.
Anyway, as exciting as this matchup was, my mind began to wander as I pondered the things that could spruce up the game a little bit now that they have a big television contract. In order to attract the huge ratings now controlled by the WNBA and Pro Beach Hockey, Magic: The Gathering would have to change some things.
First off, they should change their name from Magic: The Gathering, to Magic: Hey, At Least It's Not the WNBA. The people at Magic should look to market their sport (term used loosely) by the things that they have going for them. For instance, they will have more slam-dunks than will ever be in the WNBA. Also, the athletes (again a term used loosely) will be more likely to draw over 2000 fans to their event than the WNBA. This is the type of stuff that could take Magic to the next market level.
What else would make Magic better? How about fights for starters? If your opponent plays a demon card that you don't like, or you think he's dealing from the bottom of his deck, just throw the table over and pop him (or her) one. A melee ensues, and the participants actually look like they had been through a battle. Magic could then be viewed as the complete sport, with champions being both intellectually and physically superior, much like on the professional roulette circuit.
So young men and women of Dartmouth, don't grow up and allow your children to play soccer and lacrosse, the competition is too intense. Push them towards Magic: Hey, At Least It's Not the WNBA, because with the new television contract, increased contact and top officiating, college scholarships are just around the corner.
