I am an '03 without a computer. I am an '03 writing this by hand because she has no computer. "Awww," you think. "It must be really tough not having a computer." I don't have a computer because in the interest of economy, I changed my order from a G3 Powerbook to an iBook, with gleaming visions of a vacation to Hawaii in the back of my mind. When I spoke with one of the computer gurus over the summer, when I ordered that bloody mcBook, he said that it would be here by the end of September, tops. And that even if it wasn't here in time, which was, "highly unlikely," there would be computer clusters in every dorm. When I arrived on campus and inquired about the whereabouts of the public dorm computer, my UGA smirked at me and replied, "Yeah, there are computers in the dorms. They're in the rooms." "Well," you're thinking to yourself, "at least her computer will be coming soon, I mean, hey, it's practically the end of the month." But you would be wrong.
I went to Kiewit (motto: "Make as Many People Cry As Possible" or maybe just, "Make Jourdan Cry As Much As Possible") and inquired after the status of my computer. The friendly man at the other side of the counter looked at me, and, with mirth in his eyes, said, "The end of next month." At the sight of my downcast eyes and drooping demeanor, he added, "At the earliest." I then asked about borrowing a laptop from the kind Department of Computing Services and the man who earlier laughed at me in my misery told me that I could rent one for between $9 and $15 dollars A DAY plus a low add-on fee. I finally convinced myself that spending at least $365 on a rental computer for the next month was a necessary and normal thing to do, and told him "okay," at which point he told me that they had none left. Oh.
Now, you're thinking, "Silly girl! She should just use her roommate's computer! What a dolt!" Except I am one of those freshmen who doesn't have a roommate. I did have one. His name is Joel, and he's perfectly nice, but somehow something just didn't work out between us, possibly his Y chromosome. So I am in a closet in the River Cluster (Motto: "It Only Seems Like It's In Canada!"). Alone. But I digress.
Being computerless is no fun on the first day of classes when your neuroscience homework is, for the most part, accessible only from some big bad fruit-colored iMac. "Not a problem," I thought to myself this morning at ten when I was done with class. After two attempts from a hallmate's room to send my reading assignment to Kiewit for printing, I had a different attitude. It was a great cardio workout, though. Hit print, hop on bike, haul it to Kiewit, heave in disappointment, head home, and repeat.
I then attempted Collis, but that was a failure, as well. After trying to send my documents to the printer from every computer in the building, first floor and second, I went to the girl at the desk, who told me that sometimes the documents just didn't print at that particular printer. Oh. It was 4:05. So I decided to harass the help desk at Kiewit.
Let's guess what time the help desk closes. Yep, 4. I spontaneously started to weep. And when I tried to pull up my homework from the Public Folder at Kiewit, the Public Folder wouldn't open. It was down, which I'm sure I had something to do with, as I froze 68 percent of the computers in Collis. (Sorry, guys.) My cyclone of computer destruction moved into the lab at Kiewit, where the computers are old and the propensity for freezing them is high. Or maybe that's just if you're me. I proceeded to freeze four computers in a row in my attempt to open up the psychology folder in the Public file. The printer man felt sorry for me and tried to help, but I was helpless. A kind, kind, kind senior who was attempting to write an application for a Fulbright Scholarship was overcome with pity, or maybe he just couldn't concentrate over my mutterings and moans, and he cheered me up by combating the machines with me, a godly mercenary, if you will. He was my victor, my lucky penny, so to speak: the one that I needed to overthrow the Albatross of gigabytes and megawatts around my neck. Thank you, Noah.
I emerged from Kiewit victorious as the sun set in the background, turning the sky a lovely shade of grey. It was 5:30. I now had my syllabus and 16 pages of reading. I then realized that I would have to begin reading these pages and I started to cry. That, my friends, was my first day of school. Computer Network 3 -- Jourdan 2. I only have one thing to say to Computing Services. Watch your hard drives.
