Twas a quiet night, about a few weeks into the first term. As I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth and turn in for the night, I heard retching noises and smelled an odor that usually belongs in frat houses. I saw a few freshmen puking their dinners out in the hallway and heard moans coming from a room down the hall. Then I realized, maybe for the first time, that I was the Undergraduate Advisor and had to do something. As I tried to remember what the heck I was supposed to do, I began to wonder what I had done by signing up to be an Undergraduate Advisor.
I wanted to be a UGA because I did not want another freshman making the same stupid mistakes I made last year. I guess the thought of having a single and a little bit of stipend did have some influence in my decision. Honestly, I thought this job would be a no-brainer. I was not supposed to baby-sit them or snitch on them to the College. My job was merely to advise and help those on the hall. I was in for a surprise.
If somebody had asked me last year how I would have imagined my first term as a UGA, I would have given the person a simple answer. I thought I would have weekly UGA meetings and excursions out to town with my 'shmen. My goals or hopes for my hall were not big. I wanted everyone to get along or even be friends. Frankly, I wanted them to have my experience. Last year, my hallmates and I were close friends. We shared secrets, told stories and bonded. To this day, most of my closest friends are my former hallmates.
I remember the first few weeks of the last Fall term very well. I had a nice UGA meeting, answering questions and getting to know everybody in the hall. I thought to myself, "Hey, this isn't so bad." My seemingly innocent and sweet freshmen had undergone a remarkable transformation when I walked to the bathroom that night.
First, I saw two freshmen vomiting in the hall. Thank God they're not mine, I thought. I offered some sympathetic words and glances and went to investigate strange noises coming from a room. There were about a half dozen freshmen in the room, apparently drunk. I recognized only two freshmen as mine and wondered what was going on. I smelled alcohol, vomit and saw people looking a bit sick.
Then I heard somebody slur a few words, mentioning a freshmen of mine. Recognizing his name, I rushed to his room and knocked. No answer. Then I heard somebody moaning in the bathroom. As I entered the bathroom, the floor was covered in vomit and feces. Okay, I thought, not a good sign. I did what came naturally -- I panicked.
Murphy's law basically states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. That was certainly true in my case that night. After the eventful night, I thought the worst was over. "OK, it was freshmen being freshmen," I said to myself. Surely they must have learned their lesson. I was wrong.
Throughout the next few weeks, Safety and Security officers were such common sights that I barely noticed them. If freshmen weren't being escorted by S&S officers to their rooms for drinking in public or getting letters from the First-Year Office, they were asking me questions. I became very knowledgeable and knew the Good Samaritan policy and alcohol policy by heart. My favorite incident involved an S&S officer bringing in a drunken freshman for wandering around Mass Row drunk, apparently lost.
Our hall began to develop some form of notoriety. Some jokingly posted a tally sheet of violations on the wall. Many celebrated when our hall was mentioned in the Safety and Security bulletin. I received many sympathetic words from my fellow UGAs. However, I don't think all the experience with Safety and Security officers and drunken freshmen were all that bad. I remember putting one of my freshmen to bed with the help of others. He was very drunk and waved around the citation that the Safety and Security officers had given him and started to apologize to me. With some effort, we took off his shoes and managed to get him to sleep. Heck, we even tucked him in.
On nights like that, we bonded, joking about alcohol and S&S. In the midst of all the chaos and general drunkenness, I realized that I accomplished many of my goals. Everybody in the hall got to know each other and became friends. Of course the steps to reaching my goal weren't exactly what I had imagined but the goal was reached.
My freshmen are no longer a rowdy and unruly bunch. I guess they wised up and learned some common sense. I almost consider the experience a rite of passage for them.
During the Freshmen sweep, I jokingly said that I was worried that a few of them would get drunk and throw themselves onto the bonfire. They said they wouldn't and didn't. I don't worry anymore ... too much.
