Crossing the Streams

by Matt Mcdonald | 10/31/97 6:00am

Choose and perish. I never thought that any weekend could top the craziness of last Green Key. It was the party equivalent of a culminating experience. From Beerios to golf at two in the morning, that weekend truly had it all. We put more effort into our spring celebration than many classes. However, looking ahead to this Homecoming weekend, I think that we may have a new challenger for the title of caziest weekend. This weekend has the potential to be one of the most memorable of the year. It is a simple result of the convergence of three very important dates. Halloween, Harvard weekend, and Homecoming.

Each of these evets are known individually for their festive character, and each stands out in my mind in its own way, but let us closely examine what happens when we enter into these three all at once.

Halloween and Homecoming are the two nights when Dick's House admits the most drunk students (both in terms of numbers and level of intoxication). Combine those and then make the weekend three days long, or even four if you don't have classes on Thursday, like myself. Mix into this volatile potion a freshman class which is reportedly the most ragey in Dartmouth history. They have had more run-ins with Safety and Security in the first half of the term than any other class has had throughout the fall.

Let's think about those flammable Halloween costumes. Not only is part of Dartmouth Night tradition running around a towering inferno, but another part of the tradition is to touch the fire. The inevitable result: 'Shmen-kabobs.

This would all be bad enough, but then I forget that we have a few more thousand people descending on the college in search of a good time. I myself have a friend coming to visit. The last time he was here was on a regular weekend, and he still ended up sleeping on a drier in the basement of a dorm that wasn't mine. He also had no shoes and in the morning walked across campus wearing a pair of socks that didn't match and were filled with holes.

I am fearing what possible situation he will end up in during his stay this time. I only hope he isn't found face down in a puddle of mung in the corner of a basement somewhere. My prediction is that he will boot on my stereo or my computer. I'll be happy if it isn't both.

Another notable thing about the timing of this Homecoming is that most of the midterms on campus are over. People will be ready to burst from a release of all that energy that was penned up in studying. Many will be on a drinking quest, setting out with the sole objective of getting obliterated. While this may have been a goal of ours at one point, it will be a goal of many on this weekend.

Now, with all this in mind, how am I approaching this weekend? I am probably going to ignore all potential for danger, party until I drop (probably not from exhaustion), and generally enjoy myself to the fullest. However, right now, while I can still see the potential for disaster, and have yet to be swept into the frenzy of what will surely be an amazing weekend, let us recall some words of wisdom from The Ghostbusters, "Don't cross the streams."

The result of this was of course, "every molecule in you body exploding at the speed of light." While this would seem to be a bad thing, it was also, of course, how the heroes ultimately triumphed over Mr. Stay-Puff. Perhaps we should keep in mind the wisdom of this mid-eighties gem as we cross the streams this weekend.