HANOVER, April 17, 1998 -- Yesterday afternoon the Board of Trustees appointed Charles A. Winthrop '68 as the 16th President of Dartmouth College. Winthrop, who received a bachelor's degree in economics from Dartmouth and a law degree from the University of Chicago, will be stepping down from his position as chief counsel for Winthrop Industries, the nation's second largest chemical manufacturing company, to become President of the College.
In his 20 years at Winthrop Industries, founded by his great-grandfather Nathaniel O. Winthrop, Dartmouth class of 1877, Winthrop successfully defended the company in over 300 toxic tort suits involving thousands of plaintiffs who claimed that exposure to Winthrop pesticides caused them to suffer from immune system deficiencies. In an interview last month with the Wall Street Journal, Winthrop boasted that, "Winthrop Industries has not paid a single penny in damages to those damn plaintiffs' attorneys and their clients who seek to destroy corporate America."
In an exclusive interview yesterday evening with The Dartmouth, Winthrop stated that he needed a "change of pace" in his life and that he "always dreamed of returning to his alma mater as president in order to restore the many traditions that crumbled in the age of political correctness."
When asked what would be at the top of his agenda, Winthrop replied, "downsizing the administration. Have you ever wondered why tuition continues to increase at twice the rate of inflation? It's not because the professors are receiving higher salaries, but because every administrator needs five assistants, who each need seven assistants, who each needs 12 secretaries. In a Winthrop administration each bureaucrat will have one assistant and one secretary."
Next on his agenda, "the abolition of affinity/special interest housing." Winthrop stated that "when I went to Dartmouth in the 1960's, the struggle was for integration. And we all learned that integration was a good thing. But in the 1990's, the campus leftists have done everything in their power to encourage segregation. When I take office in the fall, all of the ethnic houses will be history. These students will no longer be allowed to separate themselves from the entire community."
When asked about his stance concerning the Dartmouth Review, Winthrop responded, "Equal treatment is my philosophy. All Dartmouth publications will receive equal funding, regardless of political ideology. When I say I value freedom of speech, I mean it."
In regards to the College's tenure process, Winthrop added that "there is a reason why several years ago Dartmouth College received the number one rating by U.S. News and World Report for the best undergraduate teaching of any institution in the nation. Too many fine teachers have been pushed out the back door in recent years because their scholarship didn't quite place them in elite academic circles. However, what Dartmouth students truly value are professors who keep them on the edge of their seats. Furthermore, I will establish a task force to investigate the suspicious behavior by some department chairpersons who have stacked their departments with disproportionate numbers of militant feminists and card-carrying Democrats. This intellectually destructive behavior will no longer be tolerated."
After accomplishing these goals, Winthrop stated that he will work "whole-heartedly" to restore the spirit of tradition at Dartmouth that has faded in recent years. Reinstatement of the Indian mascot will be just one of the many minor changes that will take place under his administration. Winthrop revealed with enthusiasm that he "can't wait until the 'shmen rush the field in the fall and trample Yale's marching band." He added, "I'll never forget the look on that poor Yale trumpet player's face when the drunken herd of '68's, myself included, knocked him flat on his face."
While Winthrop noted that there are so many reforms to be made that it is impossible for him to address them all before he takes office, he did point out that the College's distributive requirements need to be seriously reconsidered. "How the heck do you expect a person to become an educated voter without being required to take a college-level course in economics? Too many of our graduates know plenty about radical feminism and minority politics but nothing about the history of Western civilization or market-based principles."
When asked if he has any special plans to celebrate his return to campus, Winthrop stated that "just like in the old days, I plan to start off the term with a bang." When asked to elaborate he stated, "keg party on the president's lawn."
