Dating at Dartmouth. Columnist love advice has become trendier than blue nail polish. Want to hear my theory on the psychological affects of the color green on Dartmouth dating habits? Want to hear me make broad generalizations on what one-thousand very different people are looking for in a date? No, of course you don't. Foolish dating columns -- the buck stops here.
If my columnist compatriots would pause to put their figurative finger on the pulse of the Dartmouth summer social scene, they might discover that it isn't happening at the solo weekend frat party. And it isn't happening in the Hanover club scene. (Oh pardon me, that doesn't exist.) These days it seems to me there is but one place to meet and greet. One place which is most assuredly packed with single '99s. Yes, that's right, it's Career Services.
Having recently become a Winter term job junkie, I am all too familiar with the third floor of Collis Student Center. The Career Services experience begins innocently enough. You stop by for an hour. You begin with actual ideas like "I want a public relations job in Boston" or "I want to write editorials for a newspaper that circulates beyond Grafton County, New Hampshire" and pretty soon you've been sucked in. You're considering teaching English in Slovakia and making gratuitous photocopies, shelling out your weight in dimes to Julie, the fabulous Career Services intern.
I dreaded beginning my search because it meant facing reality. Now I realize Career Services is just about the best way to evade reality. You can pretend to reach for the file on "Discovery Magazine," but who could blame you if the "Disneyland internship" file suddenly appeared more enticing? Alphabetical order has its perks.
I am not the only one doing this. Walking into Career Services is increasingly becoming a hello-fest. Just getting to an empty chair is like cutting a swath through the social jungle. Yet as much as the need for employment impels us to Career Services, in any packed room gazes begin to wander. As I walked in during my most recent visit, I sensed five pairs of eyes swivel in my direction to size up the newcomer. I felt like a runway model in a backpack. Quickly I ducked behind the international employment shelf.
And yes, eventually the fun of finding obscure jobs and socializing wears off and the success-seeking instinct kicks in. This morning I was on the phone with London and New York, both before 10 a.m. I am currently gulping down coffee to stay awake because instead of writing my column today, I spent the whole day infusing glamour into the resume Career Services deemed "unaesthetic." Unaesthetic no longer, I am hot on the job hunt. Go go gadget power suit. I may not have a job, but boy has this been an empowering experience.
Do not let me frighten you. My resume may have made its fax machine debut, but the only offer so far has come from my parents' couch in Pennsylvania. The pay may not be great, but you don't need a computer science major to use the TV remote.
Frankly, I've long known that Career Services was a legendary resource filled with millions of opportunities -- a river fully stocked with fish -- but I didn't imagine it would be this difficult to catch just one. And not surprisingly, dozens of employers are delighted to have brilliant Dartmouth students assume the lofty job of "intern," but quite significantly fewer are willing to pay them. When considering a life unable to afford food or shelter, suddenly paid consulting jobs which require "a strong interest in sales" find their way into consideration. Shudder.
I hate to think I'm driven by "keeping up with the Joneses," but when I hear about friends working for Microsoft or doing community service in Costa Rica, those three months of vacant time seem critical. A term of working for Dining Services or, perish the thought, sitting at home, seem slacker in the extreme. They seem to forebode a senior year of rewriting my web page and fabricating amusing stories about why I still don't have a job.
Well, before we all throw ourselves into the pit of despair, we should realize that the summer is still rife with time to seek out that perfect junior year internship and even time to peoplewatch in Career Services.
Still looking for a date? "Hey baby, nice resume."
