There are certain social conventions that we all understand and respect. The one I am addressing today is bathroom etiquette. This topic includes those manners which make life a little nicer for everyone. Let me preface this column by saying that these comments are more relevant to men's bathrooms than women's. The reason for this is my own personal experience, which is lacking in the latter category for obvious reasons.
I begin by taking a look at a bathroom facility which admittedly makes life easier, but can cause some rather awkward situations. This is the urinal. I have encountered several different types of these in my time. While I was in England, I found the waterfall urinals to be common. This was just a wide wall with water running down, and a trough at the bottom. "Pick a spot and pee" seemed to be the general rule here. No partitions between relievers, no personal space.
This sort of communal urinal would never be found here in America. In a way, the European and American societies are reflected in our urinals. Europe has less space, is more crowded, and in general has less emphasis on the individual than America. Here we say, "A urinal for everyone!" I have a friend from home who even has a urinal in his basement, though that has become more of an invitation for ridicule than respect. In our public restrooms, we encounter a big row of urinals. While we have more privacy, this raises a big problem of bathroom etiquette.
I'm sure the men out there are well aware of the situation. You're doing your business at the urinal, and some jerk decides to pee right next to you when there is a perfectly good urinal three spots away. There is a certain comfort zone that exists there. Unless there is a crowd, you just don't pee right next to another guy. I have one high school friend who had difficulty peeing with other people present. I can only imagine his consternation if someone were to come in and decide to pee right next to him.
By the same token, it is also strange (though not nearly as awkward) if you are at an end urinal, and someone comes in and chooses the urinal at the other end even though no one else is there. The behavior of those well-versed in the bathroom arts says, "I respect your space, and am comfortable with my masculinity, so I will choose a nice medium urinal distance."
There are two follow-up rules to the urinal which need only brief explanation. Flush. Wash.
There is another realm of the bathroom which privacy and personal space enter into. This is the shower. There are several different setups that are possible, but it basically boils down to locker rooms and everything else. Locker rooms have multiple shower heads and plenty of room. Plenty of space. Everybody's happy.
There is something about locker rooms that allows us to accept each other as equals. (That something is probably the nakedness.) While at the YMCA over vacation, I witnessed my Congressman and the local mafia boss get along fine in the locker room. One was going to Washington to do some legislating for our country and the other was going up the river to do time for racketeering, but they were perfectly cordial in such a setting.
There are other situations, however, where showering is best done alone. Specifically in the dorms. I have the pleasure of living in a dorm where we have multiple showerheads in the same stall. This would be unpleasant enough, but what worsens the situation is that in this case 'multiple' means two. Showering with a bunch of people, while not preferable, is still bearable. Showering with one other person is just unpleasant. Now on our floor, we have an unspoken rule: We wait. Unfortunately, there is someone from another floor who apparently has not been informed of the policy, and violates the hapless victim already using the shower.
I can't believe that he is in such a hurry that he can't wait five minutes for the person already in there to finish bathing. Dorm life is tight as it is, without having to share a shower with someone else. A little courtesy goes a long way in the world of bathroom etiquette. Let people have their space.
