Editor's Note: Although people do use these words, this article is somewhat tongue in cheek, so take it as such.
anal (adj.): High-strung, uptight, usually of the pre-med sort. "Why you gotta be so anal? Quit tooling, and let's go guzzle some beast."
beast (noun): Cheap, nutritious, socially-inspiring, ecologically-sound nectar of the gods, found flowing freely from the multitude of kegs located in any fraternity.
beer-goggle (verb): A condition induced by large quantities of beast in which all standards hindering the choice of a particular mate are abandoned and trees start appearing sexually appealing.
Bema (proper noun): Although the name originates from the ancient Greek word for sanctuary, the Bema is known to most students as the Big Empty Meeting Area, the site for goofy pre-freshman trip bonding activities.
Birks (noun): Short for Birkenstocks, the bohemian sandals that are the footwear of choice for every self-respecting "crunchy."
blitz (verb): To send an electronic mail message using the College's BlitzMail computer program. "I'll blitz you those notes tonight." (noun) The actual electronic message. "Did you read my blitz?"
boot (verb): Blow chunks, drive the porcelain bus, heave, hurl, hoot, lose your lunch, pray to the porcelain goddess, talk to Ralph on the big white phone, Technicolor yawn, throw up, vomit, etc. More often than not, an aftereffect of chugging a wee bit too much beast. See "rally."
campus po' (noun): Dartmouth's campus police force, officially known as Safety and Security (note the resulting acronym), which takes special interest in enforcing College alcohol policy at freshmen dorm gatherings.
crunchy (noun): A somewhat derogatory term used to describe the long-haired, Birks-wearing, environmentally-conscious members of the Dartmouth community. You can sight them from afar by the rock climbing equipment and Enviro-mugs hanging from their backpacks.
The D (noun): You're reading it! Get a year-long subscription and you're guaranteed mail in your HB every weekday.
deal (verb): To cope, usually with a seemingly insurmountable situation. "I've got a midterm in Orgo tomorrow and a 30-page paper due tomorrow." Response: "Shut up and deal."
dis (verb): To insult, slight, hinder, harm, or "dis"-respect someone. "Hey, you dissing my sandals? You don't like Birks? How about I introduce your face to my friend the tree here."
EBAs (proper noun): Everything But Anchovies, a Hanover culinary institution which delivers pizza, chicken sandwiches, and other delicacies until 2 a.m. every night. The ultimate tool-fuel.
Emmit (noun): A certain breed of New Hampshire resident, most definitely not affiliated with the College. Not to be regarded with derision, but sympathy: you can't choose to be a product of centuries of inbreeding.
grim (adj.): Disquieting, disgusting, disturbing. Often has a lot to do with a sense of impending doom or irrevocable loss. "Whoa. Looks like someone booted on my stereo! Most grim! (sob)"
granola (noun): Another slur for crunchies, based on their breakfast food of choice.
grind (verb): To get out on the fraternity dance floor and show someone else your affection for him or her. This often involves a lot of rubbing and usually a good bit of beast.
gut (noun): Supposedly, a gut is an easy class at Dartmouth. Some people like to brag they take guts, but they are usually the ones a lot less picky about their GPAs. The fact of the matter is, nearly all courses at Dartmouth necessitate a healthy amount of work to score an A.
HB (proper noun): The abbreviation for Hinman Box, the cubbies in the Hop where students can pick up their mail ... or as is often the case, look for mail, then feel alone and depressed after finding it empty (did we mention that subscribing to The D alleviates this problem?).
hook-up (verb): To scam, make out, get together. The actual level of intimacy is usually not connoted by this term, so some amount of clarification may be necessary. Can also be used as a noun. "You had a hook-up with that guy?" "No, I swear I never hooked-up with that frat rat."
HTH (noun): "Home Town Honey" -- that special someone you left behind in Smalltown, U.S.A., and who you will forget about after imbibing beast and doing some grinding, all prior to hooking-up.
Jimmy O. (proper noun): The affectionate nickname of our president, James O. Freedman.
Joe (noun): A pot belly that deserves its own name. Often another malevolent consequence of too much beast.
Marvelous Lee (proper noun): Another nickname, this time for the distinguished Dean of the College M. Lee Pelton. If you doubt the "Marvelous," try taking the man on in a little one-on-one basketball during lunch hour.
mung (noun): The blend of tobacco spit, vomit, urine, stale beer, cigarette butts and dirt that coats the floors of most fraternity and sorority basements after parties. You don't want to be wearing Birks. Mung sticks to shoes and stinks for days.
Observe Corridor (proper noun): The lower level of Baker Library includes the long "Reserve Corridor" where students can check out materials placed on reserve and, supposedly, study. However, a little more scoping and chatting gets accomplished than any amount of tooling.
Parkhursted (verb): Named after the administrative building, Parkhurst Hall, which houses the offices of most deans, the provost and Jimmy O., being "Parkhursted" is what happens to a student who flunks too many courses, cheats, commits heinous crimes, or just happens to annoy too many deans. "What happened to Bob? Haven't seen that guy on campus in ages." "You didn't hear -- Bob got Parkhursted for rushing the field."
pong (noun): The drinking game of choice in most fraternity basements. Requires a plywood table, a pair of paddles, a ping pong ball and four cups of beer. Returns must be lobbed, and it's bad form to boot too soon.
rage (verb): To drink and dance, to be frivolous and have a good time, all to a higher degree than "to party."
rally (verb): To continue struggling with something, even though it may be physically trying. Often has something to do with sports, or with chugging, in which case the recommended usage goes, "Boot and rally! Boot and rally!"
random (adj.): Weird, out-of-place, anachronistic. Can also be used as a noun, to refer to people who just don't belong. "See that bird's nest? Pretty random, eh?" "You aren't from around here, are you, you random!"
'rents (noun): The people who pay your tuition, call every week to make sure you haven't run off with a cult, and take you out to dinner on Parent's Weekend.
scope (verb): To observe something, most often a special someone toward whom you are experience warm feelings.
ship (noun): Short for battleship, ship is a more intoxicating version of pong. Not recommended for lightweights.
'shmen (noun): You, at least for the next year!
'shmenu (noun): The "Green Book" cataloguing the photographs and home addresses of the freshmen class. Allows you to scope without leaving your room.
sketchy (adj.): Suspicious, uncertain, questionable. Most often used to describe a situation or a person, who just seems weird, or maybe a little anal. "I don't know about Frank, he seems kind of sketchy."
stride of pride/walk of shame (noun): That long walk across campus following a hook-up. It's either a victorious strut or a downcast shuffle, depending on how tightly those beer goggles fit.
Ted (noun): A nerd, dork, geek. Someone who tools quite often, like on Friday nights.
'tails (noun): A social event not solely based on the consumption beast, but instead on mixed drinks, or cocktails, or 'tails. Usually a more intimate and quiet gathering than raging frat parties.
tool (noun): To study with great exuberance. "I have a quiz tomorrow. It appears I must tool all night long. Pretty grim, eh?"
woman (noun): What we call a female at Dartmouth, guys.
'za (noun): Pizza.
