Almost all Dartmouth students have something to complain about. Even if BlitzMail is the greatest invention since cool ranch doritos, if you can't sign on because the "DND Directory Is Not Available" then BlitzMail just plain sucks. And just because the "All You Can Eat Pasta" at Food Court is your stomach's answer to digestive euphoria, when you can't find a seat you're none too pleased. That's why I've compiled Winter 1996's What's Hot and What's Not. Almost everyone has been collecting their list of complaints since Freshman Trips when "moderate hiking" (not too moderate) took its place at the top. But there are also the things we love and can't imagine living without. Here's a sampling of both:
What's Hot
1) The Internet: As a senior, I have yet to learn how to surf cyberspace, but I am still in awe of the fact one can order EBA's from their computer. What's a web page anyhow?
2) EBA's: Will always be hot. I've never caught on to the chicken sandwich thing, but I am definitely a sucker for breadsticks after hours. But why do the pizzas have warts on the bottom? I guess I could call the number on the box (643-6135) and ask Charlie Dowd.
3) BlitzMail: What would we do without it? How else can you reach 100 of your closest friends at the same time to tell them where the parties are?
4) The Weekend Update: This is how you really find out where the parties are. Without it, you might spend your weekends with the Griswald family watching every National Lampoons Vacation movie ever made for the umpteenth time. Not that there's anything wrong with that ...
5) Free Samples at Collis: That way you can decide that a an eleven grain hummus and tabouli quiche might not be your ideal sustenance.
6) The Bagel Basement: Being from New York, I never thought I'd find a decent bagel up here. I was wrong.
7) Lunch Outside: I know, it's winter, so you've probably forgotten what it's like. But eating outside in the fall and spring is a scenic experience -- and you get to share your food with the bees.
8) Tea in Sanborn: I never go, but I like the idea of tea in Sanborn, so I am convinced that it is one of the better things at Dartmouth.
9) NRO's: In other words, "Now Reading is Optional" -- need I say more?
10) Kiewit: The greatest, fastest, most reliable printing facility when your paper is there.
What's Not
1) Parking: A Lot. Yes, it is a lot, but it is a lot farther away than you think.
2) Parking Tickets: The only place you're sure not to get one in Hanover is in A-Lot, it's too far for Parking and Operations to go and give out tickets.
3) BlitzMail Lines: Sometimes I wonder. Do people take as long as possible on those computers in Collis and at the Hop just to be annoying?
4) Fraternity Basement Lines: There is nothing worse than waiting on line in freezing weather just to go into a fraternity. And there is nothing more humiliating when you are a senior than being pushed around by a pledge who thinks he's hot stuff because he has door duty. Yes, I am hoping that the loser-face door monitor from Chi Gam on Saturday night of Winter Carnival is reading this...
5) Seating in Collis at Lunchtime: I think Superbowl tickets are easier to come by than a table "Chez Collis" during peak hours. But unless you like quiche, who cares?
6) The Line For the Grill at Food Court: Personally, I never get anything from the grill at Food Court. I'm one of those annoying health conscious types. But even I find the line at the grill to be bothersome. I hate waiting for my friends to get their double bacon cheeseburgers while my frozen yogurt melts at rapid speed.
7) Dartalk: I decided to get voicemail, it sounded cool. But my friends tell me that they are scared to leave a message because the computerized operator voice sounds like a serial killer. So much for all those job offers I'm hoping to get via telephone.
8) Professors Without Watches: They let you out 10 minutes after your next class has already begun. Their only clue being the rustling papers, snapping binders, and zipping up of backpacks that begins five minutes before the class is supposed to end. These professors need at least 15 minutes to get the hint.
9) Monday Mornings: Just when your body has adjusted to a 4 a.m. bedtime and and noon wakeup, it's back to business.
10) Kiewit: The most irritating, inconvenient and unreliable printing facility when your paper is not to be found.
