To the Editor:
The varsity lacrosse team has disgraced both Dartmouth College and the English language with its "As if the spring isn't [sic] fresh enough already" tee shirt campaign. Clearly, these scholar-athletes have deliberately chosen to hasten the decline of proper usage in the subjunctive mood. As remuneration, I ask that the lacrosse team a) refrain from wearing the offending items, b) publish a written apology, and c) each spend copious time in community service teaching grammar to prep school age rich kids like they themselves once were.
