Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
Support independent student journalism. Support independent student journalism. Support independent student journalism.
The Dartmouth
March 30, 2026
The Dartmouth

Douglas isn't the best candidate, even in fantasy

To the Editor:

As long as we are happy to blur the lines between fantasy and real life, I offer a few reasons why Laura Zachman might want to reconsider her write-in vote for Michael Douglas as president.

In "Wall Street," Michael Douglas played capitalist from hell Gordon Gekko, happily pronouncing that "greed, for the lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." Which as far as I can tell, sounds mysteriously ... Republican.

In "Fatal Attraction," Michael Douglas played a philanderer whose wife forgives him after a one-night-stand. Which sounds an awful lot like Bill Clinton to me.

In "Disclosure," Michael Douglas plays a man who is sexually harassed by his female superior. Which is far more of a white male liberal fantasy than anything presented in "The American President."

For the better part of ten years, Michael Douglas has embodied the ultimate male sex fantasy: Money and beautiful women and a great job (how come he never plays a street bum?) with no strings attached. In voting for Bill Clinton, everyone hoped that he would make much the same transformation that Michael Douglas has made in "The American President"-- from gluttony and half-truths to a state of liberal piety. As that hasn't happened thus far (and as I don't entirely buy Douglas' transformation either), I offer an alternative write-in candidate: Nell (as played by Jodie Foster in the film of the same name). She cares about the environment because she lives in a tree house, she wants to reform the legal system ("Nell no li lowya o jujes, Nell wah us geh lon"), and she's a real people person. And she likes "pahcah." Besides, it is about time we have a woman in the White House. Nell in '96.

Trending