Theparents are coming! The parents are coming!
It is with mixed feelings that most college students approach an upcoming visit from their parents.On the one hand, students are excited to show their parents the campus, introduce them to college friends and generally show off how independent and mature college students can be.
From a purely selfish point of view, poor starving college students are happy at the prospect of free meals, a trip to the grocery store and the opportunity to show mom how much laundry you have in the hopes that she will do it for you, or at least buy you a roll of quarters.
But there are drawbacks to a visit from one's parents. Much of this is due to the fact that parents have a different set of standards than their children.
Cleaning up for most college students would involve picking clothes up off the floor, making the bed, throwing out the old pizza boxes and recycling any cans and bottles that have accumulated over the weeks. An extensive cleaning job might even involve vacuuming.
Parents are still amazed at the filth that many of their children live in. They expect their children to dust and clean windows, and fail to understand the charm of pyramids of beer cans and champagne bottles as a decorating technique.
Parents also keep a completely different schedule than most college students. My roommate's mom calls it "living on the wrong side of the day." Most parents get up early in the morning, lead productive lives all day and then go back to sleep either right before or right after the late news.
This is not the way with college students.
Most college students get up between 15 and 20 minutes before their first class. This is the same whether that first class is 7:45 a.m. drill or an 11:15 a.m. lecture.
The exception would be those lucky students with afternoon classes, who might get up early enough to get some lunch before class. On a good day, a student is able to catch a nap after class, watch some television and maybe read a chapter or two before dinner.
After dinner usually involves a trip to the library for a few hours of work before the required evening of fun hanging out with friends, watching more television or just relaxing in the nearest fraternity basement.
On a bad day, all of the time after class is spent in the library making up for earlier slacking. Parents just don't understand that between midnight and 3 a.m. is a perfectly reasonable time to go to bed.
Parents don't understand the charms of a pop-ice for breakfast and Ben and Jerry's for dinner. They wonder how students could ever be stretched for time considering they only have 3 hours of class a day. They want to know where their money goes considering everything should be paid for.
Most parents certainly don't understand the appeal of a well-played game of ship.
These differences can sometimes become major sources of conflict between parents and their children, especially during the college years.
Students are eager to experience life to its fullest while parents are more interested in making sure that their kids live through it. These conflicts can easily reappear once parents are on campus. Students want their parents to take them to dinner, but they don't want to be told to get to bed early.
Perhaps the only way to resolve these conflicts during a visit is to try and minimize them. Students need to remember that their parents aren't stupid, they were young once and know what it is like. Parents need to realize that their babies have grown up and are old enough to make their own decisions.
The most important thing, though, is for parents and students to enjoy each other. It's a chance for families to be together.
So parents: play pong with your children or eat in Food Court or study in the Reserves and remember what is was to be young.
And to my fellow students: take your parents to a party, show them where you study, introduce them to your friends and bear with them when they embarrass you.They only do it because they love you.
Plus, they will be gone on Monday, and we will have to pay for dinner ourselves again.
