Whilethe men and women of Dartmouth have yet to graduate, graduations have been taking place at many schools across the nation, accompanied by the usual exhortations to seize the day, make an impact and otherwise hit the world head on. While there is a great deal of confidence expressed in the ability of the graduates to do this, it is no secret that the world waiting for them is sorely in need of fixing.
The dominant theme of most graduation messages, both now and in the past, is one of overwhelming optimism. This is rightfully so, for the graduates hearing these messages will be in a position to affect social change. However, let us not be led to believe that the social and cultural pathologies facing our nation and world can be blamed on some distant abstraction any more than we will believe that the solutions to these most pressing problems are to be found in abstractions.
It's time to focus on an issue of great importance that a vast majority of Dartmouth graduates will face in their coming years: Marriage and the raising of a family. There is always a risk in looking at an issue such as marriage, for it should not even be an "issue." But the fact remains that it is, and an issue that is discussed most commonly in the public arena in the context of larger discussions concerning "family values" and "the culture wars." As a result, there is a great deal of baggage that we bring to any discussion on the state of marriage right now.
Whatever our ideological disposition, the evidence for a return to traditional family structures is hard to argue with. The facts, statistics and graphs starkly document the problems of society that can be traced back to the abolition of marriage as a lifelong commitment and the embracing of sexual license as "progress." Of course, such statements are vigorously disputed, and many are willing to interpret the data away, but if we are honest and take a calm look at the world around us, we can see that we need stable families more than ever. The conventional knee-jerk reaction is to dismiss such blasphemous utterances as hopeless and misguided nostalgia, but it is more likely that such a reactionary dismissal is no more than a rationalization of the problematic attitudes and behaviors that have brought us to where we are now.
Barbara Dafoe Whithead wrote in the April 1993 issue of The Atlantic Monthly, "Survey after survey shows that Americans are less inclined than they were a generation ago to value sexual fidelity, lifelong marriage and parenthood as worthwhile personal goals. Motherhood no longer defines adult womanhood, as everyone knows; equally important is the fact that fatherhood has declined as a norm for men."
This is bad enough, but even more dangerous is that such moral lapses are trumpeted as advances. Not content with throwing off standards of right and wrong, we deny that such standards exist. The results can be seen; the consequences cannot be denied.
Will this be the message that is heard on graduation day at Dartmouth? It would be rather depressing if the usual inspirations were replaced with the facts concerning the present state of affairs in our nation and world. But crises of conviction are nothing new, and there is no doubt that the usual optimism will be warranted. We have always been in need of people willing to fight for their future and the future of their children. Solid societies are built on solid families; solid families are built by solid individuals with solid commitments.
Let us not deny the attitudes that have ushered in our current problems, and perhaps we will realize that one of the most radical and progressive actions that can be made by our generation is also an action that was taken for granted for a long time.
