Eclipse Gave a Message

by Bret Wilkerson | 5/11/94 5:00am

To the Editor:

Tuesday's eclipse provided me with an epiphany. Ignoring the advice of those ignorant scientists who warned against looking straight into the sun, I did exactly that. What I saw has changed my entire life.

The letters PU were emblazoned in the middle of the center of our solar system's star, which we all know to be the center of all life. The Gods are clearly irritated that we humans have not realized that the universe is indeed a Plutonium atom. Repent, all who have not seen the light.

BRET WILKERSON '94

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