Alan Berkowitz, the director of counseling at Hobart and William Smith Colleges, spoke yesterday about men's responsibilities for the prevention of rape and sexual assault.
As part of Dartmouth's Sexual Assault Awareness Week, Berkowitz, who came up to the College from Geneva, New York, gave a speech titled, "Consent Versus Coercion: Changing Men's Roles Towards Mutuality in Sexual Relationships."
He defined rape as sexual penetration without consent and sexual assault as relations that are coerced or not agreed upon.
"The goal is that if people want to be sexually intimate, there should be uncoerced mutual consent," Berkowitz said.
Berkowitz said male gender roles in America are defined when children are growing up and then carry over into adulthood. He rattled off examples that included telling boys not to be 'sissies,' to always be superior and successful, to never show vulnerability, to be aggressive and to never do anything to act like a girl.
Men's relations to each other were also cited as important in discussions of the male role in sexual relationships. Men often feel pressure from peers to be sexually active and discuss specific intimate experiences, Berkowitz said.
Berkowitz said men will not usually tell their peers when they are uncomfortable with conversations that objectify women. "That is enabling or tolerating an environment which sometimes leads to rape," he said.
Berkowitz said to make sure that there is consent, both parties must be fully conscious, have clearly communicated consent, have equal power and be positive and sincere in their desires.
"We are trained to assume too much. Pay attention to the other person's behavior," Berkowitz said.
