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(10/26/15 1:17pm)
It’s hard to move. No, seriously. As the weather gets colder and the leaves grow increasingly dead, it becomes a challenge to compel yourself to undertake the trek to Collis or the Hop. You’ll need to stock up on autumnal snacks to keep yourself warm and cozy indoors, but what sorts of food and drink are right for each dorm?
Mass Row (excluding South Mass): Apple pie
(09/22/15 4:09pm)
Wilderness Pong I
For the true beginner, this version of pong – played on wide, fresh-hewn oaken tables in the Second College Grant – teaches only the basics of Dartmouth’s distinctive version of pong. It’s not for experts, and trip leaders need to go easy on the poor freshmen, but ultimately these students will come back to the Moosilauke Ravine Lodge with a firm grasp of the essentials of pong. That said, they’ll be just as mercilessly mocked as the students who took Hiking I.
Wilderness Pong II
This is a real conundrum — it’s a massive level up from Wilderness Pong I, but still not hard enough for students who take Wilderness Pong III. Trippees will scale a medium-sized mountain, saw down trees, erect a pong table of exactingly applied dimensions and proceed to play the sport of (drunk) kings as the wind rustles their faces upon the hillside.
Wilderness Pong III
For the true expert in Wilderness Pong, this trip section – offered only rarely, as few freshmen are qualified – involves a strenuous hike up Mount Washington in the dead of night, followed by the sawing down of numerous trees, the construction of an exact replica of a Dartmouth fraternity or sorority — a different house each year — and the casting in gold of the One Pong Table to rule them all. After engaging in a full week of strenuous, back-breaking pong, the freshmen of Wilderness Pong III and their trip leaders will descend from the peak of Mount Washington and hike all the way to the Moosilauke Ravine Lodge, where they will proceed to play pong across the backs of other freshmen while onlookers dance the Salty Dog Rag.
Beat Boxing
While this trip is actually held in Spaulding Auditorium and involves absolutely no wilderness component, it is a valuable skill that will help to train the future supporting members of Dartmouth’s a cappella groups – and also the really irritating people at dorm parties.
Sun God-ing
In this trip, first-year students design, build and decorate a set of outdated cars in accordance with a Dartmouth-specific theme. Next, they will outfit them with ridiculously high-powered speakers and drive around northern New England playing music, film soundtracks and political commentary at high volume.
(05/27/15 4:10pm)
Columbia University: The parents of recently-graduated Columbia University senior Paul Nungesser said in a statement that the University had made their son’s life nightmarish while giving a special exemption to Emma Sulkowicz, also a graduating senior, by allowing her to carry a mattress at graduation. Nungesser is suing the University, alleging that Columbia allowed Sulkowicz to break confidentiality agreements and supported gender-based harassment against him through Sulkowicz’s senior thesis.
Cornell University: The University announced the creation of the Skorton Center for Campus and Health Initiatives on Tuesday, The Cornell Daily Sun reported. The center is to be named for David J. Skorton, Cornell’s incumbent president who is set to leave the school for the Smithsonian Institution at the beginning of July. It will support research and evaluation practices in the field of student health and will support physical, mental and sociological health at Cornell. The facility’s construction, which began in March, is slated to cost $55 million before it opens in the fall of 2017.
(05/27/15 11:31am)
Every year, about 12 percent of Dartmouth's class takes a little bit longer than four years to graduate. The real question is: why won't you graduate on time?
(05/07/15 1:54pm)
The weather is warming, spring is in the air and’tis the season for ultra-competitive intramural sports. I know what you’re thinking, “Parker, c’mon! IM sports aren’t competitive at all!” Well, you’re bloody well wrong, and you should be ashamed of yourself. Your IM team should be so ruthlessly efficient, well-organized and brutal that it could goose-step all over Poland on a whim. IM sports are no joke, folks, and the way you people are treating them is a true disgrace to us all. Without further ado, here is everything you need to know about how to assemble your dream IM squad.
1. Build up a minor league division
This one is really a no-brainer, guys. You’ve just got to recruit players straight out of high school and have them begin training in your Single-A team, based out of Bunker Hill Community College. After that, your best Single-A players can advanced to the Double-A team at the University of New Hampshire, and, finally, the very cream of the crop can move up to the Triple-A team at Colby-Sawyer College. After that, it’ll be time for your ultra-elite, highly trained athletes to come up to the big leagues: the Dartmouth College Intramural Tennis competition.
(05/01/15 5:15pm)
It’s important to realize that your major is probably really, really basic. Like, really basic. It’s actually hard for me to express how basic your major almost definitely is. Each year, most students major in just a handful of things –economics, government, psychology, history, and English are the usual culprits – leaving those few other majors feeling, well, less than special. But here’s the thing: Those are majors are special, because the rest of you are basic. Like, super basic.
Without further ado, here is just how basic your major is:
(04/23/15 11:34am)
Brown University: Around 50 students and alumni exercised their rights under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974 to request personal records relating to their admission to the University, the Brown Daily Herald reported Wednesday. After students at Stanford University called upon students to invoke FERPA to view admissions records to better understand the admissions process and the impact of racial, income-based and legacy-based factors, students across the country began submitting requests to view their admissions files. Brown declined to share notes made by admissions officers, noting that the university had the right to define what consisted a “permanent record” under the law and did not consider admissions notes to be applicable.
Columbia University: Commuter students at Columbia’s two undergraduate schools, Columbia College and the Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science, will gain he right to swipe access of residence halls beginning in the fall, the Columbia Daily Spectator reported Wednesday. The policy banning non-resident students from accessing dorms had been in place since 2013 and was overturned due to reports by student leaders calling for the removal of the policy. Residence halls, students claimed, could foster community and socialization, making their inaccessibility for commuter students a substantial barrier.
(04/15/15 11:04am)
Here at Dartbeat, we’ve been very enthusiastic about the trend of putting random captions on historically significant works of art for comedic value. So of course, we had to wonder: what would a Dartmouth-themed march down art history humor lane look like? Fortunately, you don’t have to wonder anymore… because we gotchu.
When you’re sitting on the bench in the basement waiting to get on table but still trying to look cool.
(04/14/15 2:01pm)
You may think your 3.76 GPA is acceptable. You may think the A- you got on your last paper is an achievement. Well, you’ll reevaluate that after you look at College President Phil Hanlon’s daily schedule. Your intrepid reporter snuck a copy of his agenda from the President’ House after mistakenly wandering inside. You’ll be shocked what our president manages to get through in a single day!
April 14, 2015:
(04/09/15 7:52am)
Here at Dartbeat, we often wonder what Dartmouth’s more storied alumni looked like back in their college days. Well, your intrepid reporter ventured into the deep, dark vaults of Rauner Special Collections Library to find out so that you didn’t have to. Here, in all their black-and-white glory, are some famous Hanoverians of yesteryear:
Former Vice President Nelson Rockefeller ’30
Rockefeller looks damn fine in his senior pic, and if you want in on that Standard Oil money or maybe just like to head down to his eponymous center, you want this pic staring back at you from the wall because it smolders.
(03/31/15 7:53am)
We’ve all heard euphoric predictions of warm weather come spring term, but those of us with some knowledge of the Northeast’s weather patterns shake our heads in scorn at such wishful thinking.
(02/26/15 6:59pm)
Here @Dartbeat, we know that our Ivy League peers like to tease Dartmouth for its northerly location and comparative isolation. That’s fair game — Cornell students need something to laugh about, after all —but it’s important that we are all aware of (and know how to respond to) the jokes that are out there. So, after scouring the darkest corners of the internet, we’ve compiled this list. Read it, and then go forth and research humor related to the rest of the Ivy League so that you can mock them more viciously than they have ever mocked us:
(02/17/15 12:17pm)
We’re a practical bunch here @Dartbeat, and clearly we understand that our dream of having Beyoncé perform for Green Key was just a tad far-fetched. That said, we couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed with some of the options Programming Board blitzed to campus a couple of weeks ago. So, in order to make sure the Green Key voting process is as equitable as possible, we’ve compiled a list of additional suggestions that we’re confident Dartmouth could bring to campus this spring. Comment or tweet @dartbeatblog to cast your vote or to suggest an additional name!
(02/16/15 4:44pm)
Here @Dartbeat, we’ve noticed that many of our Dartmouth peers (read: you guys) often have hidden, deeper meanings behind what they say —and not always in a good way. In fact, in our time collecting overheards, we’ve come to realize that a number of the phrases you bandy about in your day-to-day interactions lack any semblance of authentic meaning and should instead be interpreted in dramatically unrelated ways. So, in order to help you communicate more effectively, we’ve decided to sit down and compile a handy-dandy lexicon: what Dartmouth students say vs. what Dartmouth students mean. If you think we’ve missed one of campus’s most popular phrases —or if you think we’ve translated any of these incorrectly —let us know by commenting or tweeting @dartbeatblog!
(02/02/15 1:50pm)
January 20th has come and gone, and with it, so has the deadline to make use of the ever-present savior of Dartmouth students’ GPAs — the non-recording option (NRO). Here @Dartbeat, we know that it can be natural to wonder if you should or shouldn’t have taken advantage of the option, which allows students to declare the minimum grade they are willing to receive in a given class, with any grade below that higher than an E being entered into the transcript as “not recorded.” How can you tell —if you’re in this doubting camp — whether you made the right call? Well, it’s simple. Look over the following statements, see how many apply to your life, and then calculate your score.