Dartbeat Interviews: Philosophical Questions
It’s a Sunday night, which means that Collis is closed and the line for dinner at the Hop is stretched all the way back to the Box Office. This line provides the perfect pool of intellectuals to ask some of the most controversial questions known to man.
(Interviews have been edited for length and clarity.)
Question #1: Is a hot dog a sandwich?
’22: I don’t think so, because it’s like made with pieces of bread.
’20: Yes, because it’s still like in between 2 halves of a bun and you still hold it and bite it like a sandwich. [Makes motions of biting a sandwich to prove his point.]
’21: Yes… it’s in between two buns, right?
’19 #1: No because when you talk about a sandwich you’re talking about two separate pieces of bread. Wait, you’re quoting me in an article? Let me explain it better: when you’re talking about a sandwich, it’s two separate entities, with all of the material in between. A hot dog is just one piece of bread.
’19 #2: What about a sub? [silence]
Question #2: Hop or Collis?*
Courtesy of dining.dartmouth.edu
*Answers may contain bias.
’21 [an intimidating athlete]: Hop…because they have more food.
’22: Collis because they have really good late night snacks like fries and their mozzarella sticks are so good. [Interviewer: Doesn’t the Hop have those too?] Oh I’m not sure then.
’19: Collis. [Interviewer: Why?] Good eggs.
Question #3: Dartmouth summer or Dartmouth fall?
’22: I really can’t wait for summer I’m so cold!! [Interviewer (a New Hampshire native): Where are you from?] Arizona.
’20: Summer because you can swim. The fall is pretty lit though.
Question #4: Is water wet?
’22: Yes because it’s water.
’21: No because water wets things but in itself is not wet.
’19: No. [Interviewer: Why?] Because wetness is the PRESENCE of water and pouring water onto water doesn’t make it anymore WET.
Question #5: Homecoming or Green Key?
Courtesy of Dartmouth College
Literally everyone said Green Key.
Question #6: Lou’s Challenge or Ledyard Challenge?
Courtesy of Warner Bros via giphy.com
’21: Ledyard. [Interviewer: Why?] I like stripping.
’22: I don’t want to die, so Lou’s.
’20: Ledyard… Live fast die young.
’19: Ledyard because FULL SEND. Or maybe the Ultra Lou’s Challenge. [Interviewer: What’s the Ultra Lou’s Challenge?] Party all night, so the Lou’s Challenge, and do a 5k run the next morning while still drunk. [Interviewer: Wow.] Or maybe the FoCo challenge. [Interviewer: What’s the FoCo challenge?] 4 meals 1 swipe. [Interviewer: Can’t you only eat 3 meals at FoCo?] Now that’s the attitude of a quitter.