7 Ways to Make Your Mom Proud

By Alexa Tucker | 5/15/17 9:14pm

Alas, Mother’s Day has come and gone. And let’s be honest — were you actually prepared for it this time around? Probably not. It happens every year — you open your iCal in April to see Mother’s Day a few weeks away, thinking to yourself, I have plenty of time to get a gift/send a card/get some flowers … and I won’t forget this year! But, every year it creeps up, and before you know it Mother’s Day was literally yesterday and you still have nothing. But good news — it’s time for you to turn to some ~alternative~ methods to win back your mother’s love and affection after you inevitably disappoint her on Mother’s Day once again. Even better, all these are easily doable from the comfort of your own dorm room! Maybe next year, though, remember to send a card. 

1. Cancel your laundry service and do your own laundry for a change!

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For the lucky few of us, college life may have some unexpected similarities to home life. Namely, you leave your laundry outside your door, and some preordained number of days later it reappears, freshly washed and folded. Magical! Though the hefty pricetag of college laundry services might be worth your continued (blissful?) ignorance as to how mysterious transformation takes place, this Mother’s Day maybe — just maybe — it might be time for a change. To truly make your mother proud this Mother’s Day, roll up your sleeves, grab some Tide and your Student ID, and take your first fumbling steps into the basement of whatever dorm you inhabit on the journey toward self-sufficiency — but if you turn all your whites pink, that’s on you.

2. Make Foco stir fry without burning anything

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You’d think that with the constant help and guidance of the nearby Foco employees it would be hard to mess up stir fry, but somehow something always seems to go wrong. Maybe you forget to add the oil before the meat, or to add the meat before the veggies, or maybe you’re just waaaaay too heavy-handed with the Teriyaki. In any case, it’s time to make things right. College limits exposure to real cooking, but Foco stir fry provides a rare glimpse into the world of adult self-sufficiency. (In an ideal simulation of the real adult world, you would also have to do things like, you know, turn on the stovetop and wash the pan yourself at the end, but we take what we can get here.) This one might involve some research on optimal veggie to meat ratios, ideal sauce or seasoning combinations and refined stirring techniques. There are plenty of cooking shows that should get you up to speed. Next time you’re in Foco, channel your inner Gordon Ramsey and get to work!

3. Set your NRO to an A

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What better way to prove that you have high standards and continued faith in your scholastic ability than setting your NRO to an A? (Maybe not NRO-ing a class at all, but nobody’s perfect!) Show your mom that your #AcademicRigor is not to be trifled with!

4. When Netflix asks if you’re still watching, take that as a hint to stop watching!

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We’ve all been there — you’re on hour six of your most recent Netflix binge, vegging out in your bed and letting Netflix whisk you from episode to episode without even lifting a finger. Suddenly, your unending stream of brain-mushifying TV is interrupted: Are you still watching? Netflix asks in the most judgmental tone possible for a mute line of text across a computer screen. Normally you would just grunt and hit yes, but this Mother’s Day, reconsider that oh-so-easy click of a button. Maybe Netflix isn’t being judgmental … maybe Netflix truly cares about you and wants you to become your best possible self, and that’s why it’s staging an intervention. And to add insult to injury, if your mother were here she would probably tell you to get up and do something productive. So, make your mother proud — put away your laptop, tell Meredith Grey to wait and… actually, probably just take your laptop back out and get some work done.

5. Cut off that toxic friend your mom has been warning you about!

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This one might depend on how tight you are with your mom, but you’ve been keeping her up to date on your college social life. She’s undoubtedly warned you about some friends that she can already sense are bad news. You might be tempted to dismiss her concerns, but I can pretty much guarantee that moms have a 100 percent accuracy rate on things like this, and they can sense a toxic friend waaaaay before you can. Save yourself the trouble — cut off that friend now and make your mom proud in the process!

6. Pick up the hair out of the shower drain!

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If you’re living in a dorm, your opportunities to contribute positively to the cleanliness of your surroundings are limited. (Thanks, ResLife!) But one way that you can always, always contribute: picking up hair from the shower drain. Yes, it’s super gross, and most dorms operate on a sort of shower-hair-in-drain honor system that I’m sure you’ve ignored (more than once). But this Sunday, make your mother — and your floormates — proud by proving you’re a real, self-sufficient adult who can pick their own hair up out of the shower drain, thank you very much!

7. Or, just call your mom.

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I’m sure she’d appreciate that, too.


Alexa Tucker