What You Googled This Week: “Lemonade” (2016) Edition
When exams had you down and out, only one person knew how to pull you out of despair. It was none other than queen of surprise visual albums (and basically queen of everything in general), Beyoncé. That’s right—when Week 5 gave you midterms, you made LEMONADE. And by “made lemonade” I mean spent an unhealthy amount of time on Google trying to understand the most talked about album of 2016.
Although you refuse to pay for a Tidal subscription, you also refuse to (maybe?) go to prison.
"Lemonade" will come to Spotify eventually, right?
But then you realize: why wait 45 days (or maybe nine years, if Bey pulls a Paul McCartney) to watch the album when you can see the Queen ~*~ live ~*~ instead?
You feel bad trying to access Silk Road but it’s the only black market site you know of. If someone sees your browser history and asks if you were looking for drugs, at least you can say for sure it was for Beyoncé tickets.
You won’t be watching the visual album anytime soon, and unless you start dating an über-loaded Dartmouth student, you won’t be going to the Formation Tour either (Sad!) But at the very least you need to research the album so you can pretend that you’ve seen it.
“Illuminati confirmed,” you say.
And it is at this moment that you realize you need to get off the internet.