Seven Ways to Make Your Prospie Feel at Home

By Lucy Tantum | 4/13/16 1:55pm

Hosting a prospie is a big responsibility. You have to share your experiences and convince them to come to Dartmouth, all while making sure that they don’t wander off alone into the vast New Hampshire wilderness. Here are some ways to make your prospie feel at home (and to keep from losing them):

Take them to class with you

Your prospie will love to see a real college class. Bring them to your 10, and encourage them to pay attention and take notes to get the full experience. Then, after class, give them your problem set so that they can see what college homework is like. When they’ve finished your problem set, convince them tostay another week to take your midterm.

Give them a tour of Hanover

Begin to walk toward town, then just point your prospie in the direction of Starbucks. It’s pretty close, so they’ll find it. Ask if they can grab you an iced chai. Bounce.

Welcome them into your dorm

Set up your prospie’s bed, which consists of the mattress pad and sleeping bag that your floormate used on Trips. Reassure your prospie that if they are awoken by loud banging noises in the middle of the night, it’s notsomeone violently breaking into the room--it's just the radiator.

Share a meal with them

Have your prospie experience quintessential DDS cuisine. Start your morning with a fresh KAF pastry, followed by a Hop grill lunch and Collis pasta dinner. Then end the day as you always do, with a 2 a.m. Hot Pocket from Novack.

Offer to help with their applications

Tell them that with your advice, they’ll definitely get into Dartmouth. When they tell you their GPA, immediately retract that statement.

Show them Dartmouth "student life"

Sneak your prospie into frats. After spending an hour explaining how to play pong, try to get on table. Discover that, somehow, line is fiveeverywhere. Go to Late Night. Have your prospie buy you mozz sticks to “share.”

Tell them about your favorite Dartmouth traditions

Like the time that you ran around a giant fire while the rest of the student body (plus some overly-zealous alums) yelled that you were the worst class ever. It’s a memory that you’ll cherish forever.

P.S.: '20s, if you’re reading this, come to Dartmouth!

Lucy Tantum