A Guide to Avoiding Children on the Green
I have a love/hate relationship with children. On one hand, my “Muppet”-y personality would make a lot more sense if I had a child. On the other hand, my first thought when I see a carefree, knee-high human is that they seem so puntable. Like many Dartmouth students, I am forced to confront this inner conflict daily as I hear the delighted screams ofthese cute, stupid baby people running amuck on the Green. So I've compiled some tips on how to avoid these stubby gremlins whomagnetically attract themselves to your knees:
1) Punt Them
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2) Jump Over Them
Pros: Baby Jumping Festival of Castrillo de Murcia
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3) Run Into Them
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4) Distract Them With Candy
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5) Tell Them Minions Are Overrated
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6) Overcome Your Differences
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