| 5/8/14 3:45pm

’17 Guy: It’s not even DJ Self-H8? I’m not going.

’16 Girl: All I did last year was drink, and all I do this year is lurk.

CS Prof: There’s absolutely no correlation between attendance and your grade.

’09 Guy at Pigstick: Can I get a hit of that cigar?’16 Girl: Sure. Wait. Do you have an STD?’09 Guy: Not in my mouth!

’17 Guy: The best part about having a single is that you can fart as much as you want to without annoying anybody.

’16 Girl after orgo: Maybe I should just forge my medical license.