by The Dartmouth | 10/31/08 4:53am

'12 Girl: I'm such a classy chick!

'12 Boy: I'm such a drunk chick!

'10 Girl: Guess what my favorite phallic symbol is [holds up SmartWater bottle].

They're so long!

'11 Girl: I just walk into class and think, 'Wow, these people don't know I have

webcam sex...'

'09 Guy, after doing a whippit: Oh man ... for a minute I forget how unhappy I was.

'12 Girl 1[on Diwali]: The lights on the green look so nice!

'12 Girl 2: Yeah, I didn't know this school went all out for Halloween!

Girl 1: I don't know if people would get offended by that costume. I don't know

if it's PC.

Girl 2: Well as long as you are a cute Pocahontas I don't think anyone will care.

'10 Guy: If you were a vegan and you were a butterfingers, does that mean you

couldn't lick your own hands?

'10 Girl: 'I'm so sweet I don't even need to study.' You should depledge and go to

Theta Delt already.

'10 Girl: What?! Theta Delt?! I'm no AD reject!

Harvard girls club soccer player to Dartmouth player who had a hand on Harvard

girl's back during a game: That's not classy, and at Harvard we're classy.

'12 Girl at Heorot: Hey, my name is [redacted], what's yours?

'11 Heorot: Don't tell me, I want to keep this anonymous.

'12 Girl 1 [walking in rain towards Heorot]: It's an effing river out here!

'12 Girl 2: We're so sleeping at Heorot.

'09 Girl: PROMISE NOT TO BLITZJACK ME? PROMISE? All right ... I just have to go

to the bathroom ... I'll be right back ... promise!

'12 Girl: So how was your first game of pong?

'12 Boy: I did really good. I got a hole in one!

'09 Girl [on Collis porch]: I'm always really hungry. Mostly because I don't eat.

But then I have some craisins.

'11 Girl: I mean, not going to lie, the faucet bruise is worth it.

Student pollster: Do you mind if I ask you who you're voting for for president?

'09 Guy: Jimmy Wright.

'11 Guy: My GPA is going down this term, unless I bang my professor, which sucks

because she is ugly as hell.

'10 Girl [in despair]: Why did I swallow?!

Guy 1 [1:30 a.m., First Floor Berry] : Wait ... are you the kid that touched the


Firetoucher [with two bandaged arms]: Yes, that was me.

Guy 1: I can't believe this, you're a legend, I can't believe I'm meeting you.

Firetoucher: I didn't do it on purpose though ...

Guy 1: SHUT UP. Don't tell anyone that, ever. We think too highly of you.

Firetoucher: Hah, OK. What's your name? [Holds out bandaged hand]

Guy 1: [Refuses hand] No, no -- you're a legend. This is unreal.

'12 Guy: Don't you think that "douche bag" is an onomatopoeia?

'12 Girl: Guys at Dartmouth don't know how to dance -- they just hump you!

'12 Guy: He doesn't manhandle, he boyhandles.

'09 Theta Delt: I'm so disoriented. Which way's Panarchy?


H-po officer: Don't say that.

'09 [to the '12s]: YOUR FATHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU!! [to the H-Po officer] That's

okay, right?