The Dartmouth Club Hockey team finally left Thompson Arena as actual winners this past Sunday. Despite Dartmouth's laid back approach and apparent lack of formal attire, the Clubbers still managed to reduce their suit-wearing competition, the Boston Junior Blackhawks, to shambles with a final score of 6-4.
The absences of team bruiser, Anthony Balsamo '04, and defensive bulwark, Russ Daiber '06, only fueled the passion of team captain Jon Webster '04 to deliver an inspired pre-game sermon, which he later explained to those fortunate enough not to have been present at the time of its dramatic unveiling. "Before the game, I reminded the boys that 'You don't score until you score, or sign up for Campus Cupid,'" he said. "I may not have made much of a point about hockey, but I'll be a lot of guys signed up for Campus Cupid after that."
Nevertheless, the Clubbers erupted onto the ice and, courtesy of Arnie Engel '07, scored their first goal in under a minute. Before the Blackhawks even had a chance to recover from this stunning blow, Dan Rich '06 took advantage of their collective despair and added a second goal to the mix. The Blackhawks responded to this threat by immediately substituting goalies. Though it would not be the last time that they pulled such a maneuver, it did allow them to tie the game shortly thereafter, delivering a decisive blow to Dartmouth's morale in the process. But Jamil Batcha '06 rose above the odds and scored Dartmouth's third goal, permitting the Clubbers' to finish the first period ahead 3-2.
After the rink guy concluded his performance with the zamboni in front of a captivated audience, the Clubbers stormed out of the depths of the locker room with the intent of beating down the Blackhawks even further. Success of achieving this monumental task quickly became apparent when Engel scored his second goal of the night. Boston's third string goaltender was immediately shown some playing time as a result. Alas, for the Blackhawks, he was no match for the skills of mighty Eric "Chenner" Chen '06 and Jon "Hanbury" Landsberg '06. Dartmouth left the ice for the second intermission on top 6-3.
Dartmouth had a commanding lead, but, given past debacles in club hockey history, that meant nothing. Spirits were high, but kept in check by the musings of the absent source of infinite inspiration, Anthony Balsamo: "There's only four things in life that really matter. One of them is heavy metal. The other is Ernest movies. I like to watch Ernest Scared Stupid. I watched Ernest Scared Stupid today and we won. Coincidence?
"I think not. It is the quasi-cosmological bind between Ernest and hockey that makes Chinese food so damn good. And winning games is amusing, too."
The third period was boring. Nothing much happened, except for one goal that was scored midway through by the Blackhawks and the breakout of numerous bouts of temper that resulted in the ejection of one unruly Bostonian whose rage only roared fiercer as he left the ice never to return. His poised sacrifice left his team short-handed for a five-minute major penalty on which Dartmouth was, unfortunately, unable to capitalize. With a minute and a half remaining, the Blackhawks pulled their goaltender and subjected Dartmouth's own Chuck Rosenwasser '06 to a flurry of desperate shots. Chucker held strong, and Dartmouth at long last earned their first victory of 2004.
"Chucker capped a glorious day with another stellar performance," commented Jamil Batcha '06 after the game. He quickly added, "I'm really disappointed that I didn't win the free autographed photo of him today, though. I don't think it's fair that his parents won it."
Webster, fulfilling his leadership duties, gave the final word summarizing the big game by saying, "The taste of victory was almost as sweet as last night's dessert at Food Court. Of course, if I could lay off the desserts, I might be able to contribute on the ice."
