Following in the footsteps of such journalistic luminaries as Mike Wallace, Barbara Walters and Ed Bradley, The Dartmouth's Mark Sweeney catches up with the big names on campus and asks the questions that others have too much professionalism or integrity to ask. Today, Sweeney returns with the second part of a two-part series of an in-depth look at freshman girls on racquet sports teams and trades groundstrokes with tennis starlet Ann Scott '06.
The Dartmouth: As a rising star in the Dartmouth tennis program, I'm sure you have many influences on your game from the pro ranks. Who are your favorite professional tennis players and why?
Ann Scott: I am partial to the serve and volleyer, and by serve and volleyer I mean the good-looking male player. I am particularly inclined to root for the hot ones. Perhaps this is a bit superficial but entirely necessary. So, that said, Patrick Rafter definitely ranks up there. I think all the ladies know what I am talking about here. Even if you ignore his incredibly beautiful body and face, you can't resist the accent. Oh yeah, his tennis is good too. I also am a big Pete fan. It's all about that tongue thing he does all the time.
The D: In my amateur tennis career (which was tragically cut short after I illegally accepted throwback Kurt Rambis and Steve DeBerg jerseys from a local sports store) I learned that to defeat my opponent, I had to beat him mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Since you likely follow the same advice, and thereby keep yourself in top physical condition, what is your opinion on bodybuilding?
AS: Ah yes. Dartmouth tennis players and bodybuilding. Perhaps the term "deviant mutant" comes to mind. Let's just say whatever that muscle is growing on top of my shoulders (I also obviously have a deep appreciation for the science of bodybuilding) is not a feminine one. Don't get me wrong, I am all about building muscle, but when you are convinced that you could enter the highly-respected career of WWF and dominate the "People's Champion," you have to reevaluate. I'll admit, our once uncommon practice of flexing in front of the mirror before practice has become a daily routine and frankly is rather frightening.
The D: If you could be any type of fruit, what would it be?
AS: I think one of my teammates may have tipped you off on this one. I would, without a doubt, be an orange. I have spent much time pondering this question and have arrived at this answer after careful consideration. First off, an orange is possibly the sweetest fruit out on the market. Need I say more about that? But, it goes further. The segmented nature of an orange is much like my multi-dimensional personality. Plus, I consider myself a person with a tough exterior, not too hard, but sort of difficult to get to open up, just like an orange. But, once you pry that bad boy open it's pretty damn rewarding.
The D: Could you discuss the snazziness of the team's shoes?
AS: Although we all prefer our different styles I think there is one common theme: space shoes. Now, you wouldn't expect this from tennis shoes but we really do look pretty badass. My current pair is 100 percent silver. However, the real snazziness comes with our new uniforms. Watch out for our first match when we will be debuting our green cat suits complete with racing stripes. I have to say, Serena Williams convinced us all that the one-piece never went out of style.
The D: Anyone who's smart enough to get into Dartmouth would know that the premier video game system is the old-school Nintendo. What are your favorite games on said system?
AS: Well, since the recent arrival of our ghetto-rigged classic Nintendo I have acquired a taste for the finer games. Many have tried to sway me to games like Tecmo Bowl and Blades of Steel but there is just no competing with Mario Bros. 3 and Dr. Mario. Duck Hunt also ranks up there in terms of wasting time capability but doesn't quite cut it with the music. For those more academically minded students I have been known to pull out Jeopardy. However, after a sound beating and a rather embarrassing inability to answer questions about ET's favorite candy, I have given up on that one.
The D: If you could be a contestant on any game show, what would it be?
AS: If you had asked me a week ago I would have definitely gone with The Price is Right. However, considering that my friend from home just appeared on this show and won about $30,000 worth of absolute worthless crap, like a dinette set circa 1982, I am going to have to change that answer. I think I will have to go with American Idol. Although I have absolutely no singing capability I would love to have my dreams crushed on national television. Sounds like a terrific time.
The D: Your home state of Colorado is shaped like a perfect rectangle, and for that I have always held a feeling of admiration for the Centennial State. Besides its geometrically pleasing shape, what are the other positive aspects of Colorado?
AS: I am actually obsessively proud of my home state and its long list of attributes. Frankly, who wouldn't be? I like to brag about places like Trinidad, the sex-change capital of the world, and CU Boulder, the school that received the number one ranking for kids who hardly ever study. What a place. I am definitely moving back later in life. My only complaint is that we have no discernable accents. Don't worry though; I am currently in the process of acquiring one.
The D: Let's say ABC decides to do the show "The Bachelor 2: Dartmouth women's tennis team" where your team would be the girls the bachelor has to pick from. Who on your team do you think would get picked by the guy and why?
AS: Well, I think by default Arden or Katie would have to win. Kelsey would be eliminated after she recited his high school GPA, his first cat's name and the phone number of his best friend's brother's girlfriend's mom. He would be a little freaked out. Steph would ask him, "Wait, what?" one too many times. Boris would flat out refuse to talk to him. Evie's refusal to shower or change clothes would eliminate her very quickly. McNally would eliminate herself after she found out that he didn't wear Prada belts. Cat would get lost in Crandall land on her way to the show. He would have to eliminate Lisa or seriously question his manhood because she could probably squat more than he could. Plus, I would get eliminated because he wouldn't be able to wrap his mind around the idea of actually being a shoe. Just go with it. Arden and Katie would be the only ones left standing. It would be a brawl.
The D: What quote from either a song or a movie would best sum up the essence of you as a person?
AS: One of the peasants in possibly the greatest movie of all time, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," once said in a terrific English accent, "Help, help, I'm being repressed." The first time I saw this I felt that it accurately expressed my experiences in life. As a middle-class, white, blonde-haired, blue-eyed American I have faced much adversity that has been extremely difficult to overcome. It's been a rough life.
The D: Who is your favorite superhero?
AS: I think I am going to have to go with Wonder Woman on this one. I feel that it is only appropriate seeing as how I have recently become a self-proclaimed feminist. Although I have never really seen her in action nor do I know her capabilities I feel the name says it all.
The D: After you finish your upcoming stint on the WTA tour, what are your plans for adulthood?
AS: This is a tough one seeing as how I don't know what I am doing next week. My only definite plans are to be very rich and powerful and to utilize my superior noise making skills. Ask my roommates; I can make some of the strangest noises you have ever heard. It's a great form of procrastination and a useful tool when you want to scare off sketchy guys. If anybody has any ideas about careers where I can incorporate this skill please let me know. Throw in a husband, some kids and a dog and you've got the American dream.
