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June, 2052. Mimosa count: 4. We raised our glasses, (at least) one sparkling alcoholic orange beverage each.
“No, you can’t go out.”
Of course, we all know that professors are real people with complex personal lives. However, it can be hard to imagine how they spend their time outside of the classroom. It is even harder to imagine how professors “hang out” with other professors.
We return from a winter hiatus to catch up with the women of North Mass 310. Kayuri is in Warsaw, Poland, Corinne is in South Bend, Indiana and I am in New Rochelle, New York. Tasked with writing a column about friendship, but having nothing particularly new to say about it, I present to you the season finale of “Two Indians and a Jew,” the fictional sitcom about our own friendship. All text in italics is drawn verbatim from our group iMessage. All other text is subject to poetic liberties.
It’s known that Greek life plays a lead role at Dartmouth, but what if there was a different kind of “Greek” life present on campus? Here you’ll find all of the Greek gods and goddesses that, as a Dartmouth student, you are unknowingly friends with.
Allow us to introduce ourselves. We’re Ali, Lucy and Mikey, your fearless new editors taking up the Mirror gauntlet. 2016 dealt us a rough hand, but we’re hopeful for bigger and better things in 2017 and plan to make this term of the Mirror the best yet.
Thanks to the small student population, the D-Plan, and the ever-important concept of facetime, friendships at Dartmouth are constantly forming and evolving. Freshmen arrive at Dartmouth Outing Club First-Year Trips without knowing anyone, while upperclassmen can hardly walk across the Green, much less navigate FoCo at dinnertime, without seeing a familiar face. In this timeline, we have highlighted some of the pivotal points for friendships at Dartmouth. Maybe you’ll find some commonalities, or maybe your friendships have followed a different path. Regardless, it’s probably time for a Trip reunion.
I started @curvedandcontoured as an Instagram account dedicated to makeup, feminism and body positivity, which is a feminist movement focused on improving self-esteem and body image. In particular, I do so by addressing issues like fat shaming. I have always been interested in body image, largely because I have had an eating disorder for most of my life. In high school, I lost 35 pounds and was praised by friends, teachers and family for working hard to become “healthy,” even though these eating habits were incredibly harmful to my health. Because of my eating disorder, I spent almost every moment of my life obsessing over thinness, an ideal I could never seem to achieve. I eventually started eating again, so I naturally gained a lot of weight. Right now, I weigh about 90 pounds more than I did at the height of my eating disorder, and for the first time in my life, I don’t hate my body.
With a name like a song and eyes that twinkle like stars in a sky without air pollution, there should really be no convincing necessary. Selena Neptune-Bear, who hails from the Penobscot Indian Reservation in Maine, is one beautiful, badass lady. Now, when it comes to Selena, the question is not “what does she do?”, but rather, “What doesn’t she do?”
Joelle Park ’19 knows who she is, and it’s inspiring. She mixes confidence with humility, hoop earrings with sports jerseys and badass dance moves with Bible study. She has mastered the anecdote. One time, Park used a penny board as her main form of transportation around campus, but she ran over a pebble, suffered the self described “lamest-fall-ever” and was confined to a cast for the rest of the term. One time, she was training for possible problem scenarios as an undergraduate advisor, and the simulation actors started crawling across furniture and throwing things, basically morphing into the cafeteria jungle scene from “Mean Girls.” One time, Park decided to make some YouTube videos and accidentally became semi-famous.
Morgan McGonagle ’18 has the voice of an angel, a smile that lights up rooms and brows that would make Cara Delevingne jealous. Plus, there’s her uncanny ability to make a rugby-induced black eye look like a fashion statement. But the people who know her best say that her happiness is her most beautiful quality.
Allison Chou ’17 has over 1,000 likes on her Facebook profile picture, and while she isn’t exactly a celebrity right now, she will probably be in the future.
The communities we are involved in often help form our identities. Yet for Brooke Hadley ’18 a pre-existing identity led to her involvement in what she now classifies as her main Dartmouth community.
For the majority of Dartmouth students, the river is something to be enjoyed only for a brief timespan: from the end of spring term to early September — and that’s if you’re lucky.
Looking at Phil Claudy ’18 as he strolls across Baker lobby makes it easy to see why someone would nominate him. He’s tall, he’s buff and he’s got really good hair — but it quickly became clear that his boy next door good looks were not the reason he was nominated.
Geography and Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies professor Treva Ellison’s nomination came with an impressive superlative.
Cindy Li ’18 knows how to accept a compliment. Her immediate response to learning of her nomination for this issue was to put her hands under her chin. You know the pose.
If she isn’t America’s sweetheart, which she very arguably might be, she is certainly Fargo, North Dakota’s. Meet Ali Vannett ’20. She isn’t just your average perfect girl-next-door, though you’re going to wish she was your neighbor (think Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” music video). This girl packs a punch. Don’t let her good looks fool you — Is it even legal to have brows that good? Does she model for Anastasia Beverley Hills, and if not, why not? There is money to be made here, people.
I wait for the noise to die down in the crowded lecture hall. The clock turns 7, and I step out from behind the podium, activating my presentation. Holograms fill the stage, 3-D faces rotate and swerve amongst the surgical residents in the audience.