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(08/16/01 9:00am)
In her Tuesday article, "I'm Not Laughing," Nancy Lai certainly succeeded in making me laugh. I saw the poster to which she refers, and it made me laugh too. The poster is funny because it's not politically correct. It's funny because of the reactions of Nancy and the likeminded, obviously intimidated by the inherent power of such big balls as appear on the poster. It's funny because it's something the man would want to keep down, something he wouldn't want you to see. It's funny because it's subversive. It's funny because it's kind of like an anti-chalking in a way, and much more tastefully done.
(08/06/01 9:00am)
It is a well-known and often stated fact that Dartmouth College can legally deny its students rights guaranteed to all citizens by the Constitution of the United States. As a private institution, it can create its own rules, and it is not bound by the Bill of Rights. Because students make a conscious decision to go here, they agree to abide by the rules of the College, even if these rules are in conflict with the rights guaranteed to us in the Bill of Rights. When we matriculated, we all signed a piece of paper to this effect, thereby agreeing to it. The theory behind allowing private institutions such power is valid: private institutions that people voluntarily join should have every right to establish their own sets of standards, even if a right is slightly abridged here or there to help create a more desirable community. However, in the case of Dartmouth, the denial of rights is nearly comical, as College policy amounts to a veritable trampling of the Bill of Rights. Observe:
(08/01/01 9:00am)
As a freshman, I'm sure you have many preconceived notions about Dartmouth. No, I'm not about to tell you to go into everything with a completely open mind. Although in an ideal world, this would be the way to do things, in the real world you need a starting point. I'll do you a favor and say it like it is, so you can replace your current preconceived notions with something that will be a little bit more useful and relevant, something that will help you jumpstart your Dartmouth career.
(07/19/01 9:00am)
Last November or December, I decided to vote.
(07/05/01 9:00am)
That the administration does not act in good faith is painstakingly evident. That they do not care about student opinion is clear. That they go out of their way to destroy the Greek system through underhanded and disguised tactics cannot be mistaken. After the latest instance of administrative attempts to control the lives and undermine the will of the students, the student body at large has come to these realizations. Administrators, the students of Dartmouth sadly accept the fact that the you are not working with us to create a better Dartmouth, but instead working against us to change the face of the school in significant and unnecessary ways. Thus, I am not writing this column to demonstrate to the student body your descent to the level of cartoon super-villains, nor am I making a plea to you to care for and respect the student body. Instead, I intend to point out the pragmatic problems with your senseless crusade and illustrate how, from an objective standpoint, it will do great harm to the school.
(05/23/01 9:00am)
Confirming allegations of institutionalized classism at Dartmouth, class conflict finally erupted into physical combat in a war on the Green this past Saturday. This class combat was a sort of world war of the Dartmouth community, as everybody fought everybody else in an orgy of violence. Each class stood alone: the '04s fighting the '03s fighting the '02s fighting the '01s, in a dark day the memory of which will tarnish the image of Green Key weekend for days to come.
(05/07/01 9:00am)
While walking past the recent rally outside of Parkhurst Hall, I felt compelled to stop and observe. Although I wasn't sure about (or couldn't determine) much of what they were protesting, I thought I'd give them a listen, so I stood there watching with an open-mindedness hitherto unknown in these parts. However, my attitude soon soured as they began to attack something we at Dartmouth hold very dear to us: beer.
(05/10/00 9:00am)
Please let me move in with you. I'll push all my things into a corner. That'll be my little area. Please? I won't bother you. You don't even have to look at me. Just let me move in with you please." These are the immortal words of the Herlihy Kid that Adam Sandler played in a skit for Saturday Night Live. However, I think they are also applicable in a situation that is far more relevant to Dartmouth.
(04/12/00 9:00am)
I believe that the Student Life Initiative is fake. In all likelihood, it's just a hoax. There is no way anything will be done to the fraternities, because Dartmouth likes money, and old frat alums like to give theirs away. Obviously, Dartmouth would not want to anger those who hold the purse strings, so they couldn't seriously be considering messing with the fraternities. You see, the "recommendation" of the steering committee was never meant to be taken seriously. No, no, it was simply meant to divert our attention from the real issue at hand. Nobody is going to try to deprive us of fun. However, even as we speak, the powers that be are attempting to deprive us of food.