Texts From Last Night: Green Key 2017 Edition
We all know the motto for spring term’s big weekend: “Green Key is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you’re reading this, that means you made it past the finish line, and whether or not you crawled that last leg or not, you are a CHAMPION. And no matter what your weekend was like, we're sure it was filled with loving alums, sunshine, darties and a whole lot of MDF approved alcohol. And even more potent than the surges of regret you are still reeling from in your Annex B cubicle are the drunk texts hanging over your head like a raincloud of shame. And just like we do every year, Dartbeat has compiled the most hilarious and egregious Green Key texts you'll never live down:
(562): Wya
(562): Please
(562): PlsDe
(562): PkeSr
(562): Please
(704): Where are you?
(704): ???
(562): Wya
(978): Pop punk!
(978): Come!
(978): F---
(978): Wait actually don’t come
(704): Get the f--- ready for my outfit betches
(704): I look like America booted on me
(973): Cutter
(973): Come
(704): Is there more cutter
(973): Yes come thru
(973): R u ok
(704): I’m at beta, what do you think?
(781): Guys, “Despacito” makes me emotional
(201): where are people
(626): sug ep. come
(201): beeeg
(626): no, come hook up with [781]
*(201) has left the conversation*
(650): Omg I hate everything
(650): [name redacted] put me to bed after droco, and I missed the entire concert
(650): Green key is a week of sex positions, and I’m down for anything as long as it’s confidential
(914): Where r u guys
(651): Gdx
(914): Same I somehow got roped into door duty for gdx so here we are
(603): Donde es la escena
(610): Come to me my prince
(603): Where’s that
(610): I spoke prematurely
(610): I just yearned for you
(603): Woke up drunk 40 mins ago and spent 10 of those minutes trying to rub off a flash tat on my arm when I blacked in and remembered it's f---ing real
(704): First EBA’s
(704): And now the Facebook thankful reaction is gone
(704): This has been the worst two days of my life
(610): So are folks still at the concert
(386): Urdido la
(386): Yes
(610): You had me at urdido la
(646): Anyone know what the show going on Gold Coast rn is?
(603): Satan’s birthday party probably
(646): Oh it is street soul.
(646): I will take their souls and put them on the street
(781): where is u
(617): i got lsot in the sauce
(404): dab
(206): yes
(518): [name redacted] told me to wear a shirt
(713): TELL [name redacted] to put a plastic bag over his head
(480): mimosas?
(206): i feel like shit and i’m never drinking again
(206): but yes pls on the mimosas