How to Relive Winter Carnival

By Laura Lewin | 2/14/17 7:37pm

Winter Carnival is over and it’s become painfully clear that it took all motivation on campus with it. I’m left with a lot of work and nothing to look forward to, so I’m choosing to deal with my problems through passionate and vehement denial. These are just a few ways I plan to relive Winter Carnival until 17W ends, and I strongly encourage you to join me.

1. Ditch class and make a snow sculpture.

Jon Sheller '09 takes the plunge into a frigid Occom Pond during Winter Carnival's annual Polar Bear Swim, which was held on Friday.

You don’t need professional artistic guidance to create this powerful piece of art on Hanlon’s lawn in a peaceful protest against academic rigor

Courtesy of MTV via

2. Foco Ice Sculpture

Band together your best team of NARPs and form an assembly line from the ice machine to the long tables on the dark side. Pass the cups and pile those little pellets as high as they go. It can be an abstract interpretation of whatever you want.

3. Beach Party pt. 2

Amazon Prime yourself a metric ton of sand because free shipping is always a good excuse for useless purchases. Make your dorm a geo tag and give people another excuse to walk around in the dead of winter minimally clothed. You may need to pay people to come, but it’ll all be worth it until you wake up the next morning with a mouth full of sand, no pants and no dignity.


4. Human Dog Sled Race pt. 2

Have one your friends drag you to your 9L by your legs. Don’t forget to time them. Then have another friend drag you the next day, and whoever has the best time gets the prize of knowing they’re not as lazy or pathetic as you are.


5. Cold Tub Plunge

Sneak onto Chi Gam’s porch and turn off the hot tub. Return the next night (butt naked for extra points) and show us your best cannon ball.


6. Do the Dartmouth/Hogwarts Seven in full Dumbledore costume.

A robe actually seems ideal for the Seven — it makes for some easy access and maximum coverage. Hopefully the beard doesn’t get in the way and keeps you extra warm. Bonus points for using your imagination to channel your inner Albus: BEMA = the Forbidden Forest, Stacks = the ~restricted section~ of the library, 50 yard line = middle of the Quidditch pitch, top of the Hop = top of the Astronomy Tower, the Green = under the Whomping Willow and finally, Hanlon’s lawn = Dumbledore’s office.

7. Start drinking at noon every day and don’t stop till you drop.

Carnival can live on in your heart and liver forever!!

Laura Lewin