7 Dartmouth Things That Stress You Out and Totally Shouldn't

By Laura Lewin | 2/6/17 9:07pm

With midterms coming at us full force, the stress on campus is palpable. Everyone has resorted to sweatpants, and the smallest things that don’t go your way may very well be the beginning of a spiral down to a deep dark place of failure. Here are a few #relatable Dartmouth things that probably stress you out even though they undoubtedly shouldn’t.



1. Foco at peak NARP hour (6:30)

If high concentrations of people stress you out, never ever go to Foco at 6:30. You see every NARP you want to see and every NARP you don’t want to see. After a seemingly never-ending search for a table, you have to weave through massive crowds only to realize you have found yourself at the back of outrageously long line for a station where you can’t even see what the entrée of the day is. Part of you really wants to sneak to the front to check out your options, but the more ~rational~ part of you doesn’t want that cutie in PubPol 5 to think you’re an immoral fiend who cuts the line. After a lap or two around, you are flooded with dissatisfaction and indecisiveness and reluctantly decide to waste a $10 meal swipe on a bowl of Lucky Charms.


NBC via tumblr.com

2. Ordering basically anything at the Hop for the first time

Would they know what you meant if you asked for a buffalo chicken quesadilla? Yes. But you might as well do a Game of Thrones style Walk of Atonement for the shame you bring your family. The only way to really avoid butchering the lingo is to keep your head down and to settle for some sushi or a premade sandwich.

HBO via giphy.com

3. Trash sorting at Collis and the Hop

You think you know what qualifies as landfill, compost and recycling until you’re faced with the decision. Three options leaves way too much room for error, and somehow all of them seem wrong. You risk the guilt of knowing you’re the heathen that contaminated the compost and recycling systems, so you look away, drop it all in the landfill hoping no one saw and run back to your room to accept that, yes, you are going to burn in environmental hell.

via GIFAK.com 

4. The Novack people, the speed of the line and just Novack in general.

Whenever I hear the classic “CAN I HELP WHO’S NEXT?” I start to sweat. In a rush from class to class I appreciate the efficiency, but it’s a free for all once you get to the front of the line. One time, when they hit me with the age old question “DBA or meal swipe” I said DSwipe … I didn’t go to Novack for a solid two weeks after that.

FOX via giphy.com

5. Interacting with former classmates/floormates.

We all have those relationships with people that extend as far as a “hey” as you walk by or a closed-mouth smile. Shit hits the fan when they ruin everything and decide to stop you and have a conversation. The only option you’re left with is to say you’re late for something and agree to the hypothetical “Let’s get a meal!” that never ever happens.

4Gifs.com via giphy.com

6. Walking across the Green knowing you’re going to cross paths with someone at the same time.

The answer to this problem is simple: you either slow down or speed up. I just seem to always choose the wrong one and end up turning to a completely different direction. Have class in Dartmouth Hall? Take a detour to the Hop! The inconvenient route is always worthwhile if your dignity is at stake.

7. Where to stand when you’re waiting for Collis stir-fry, sushi or pasta at peak times.

I don’t really have much to say about this because I’m convinced that there’s no right answer. Please blitz or flitz with any suggestions.

Warner Bros. via tumblr.com

Laura Lewin