How to Survive Your Freshman Winter

By Laura Lewin | 1/19/17 3:31pm

Winter can be a tough time for everyone – it’s questionably too cold to go out (but everyone does it anyways), definitely too cold to be productive and just cold enough that the ice sticks around and makes all of campus a hazard for treacherous falls. But don’t fret – there are so many ways to put your winter woes behind you and learn to truly ~thrive~ and not just survive 17W!

To flourish academically this 17W…


…get to the library and set up camp in the most comfortable place you can find. Convince yourself that it’s too cold outside to leave and consequently blow all your DBA on KAF. With your blood caffeine levels off the charts, you can trick yourself into being a functioning and productive member of society instead of becoming a glorified Netflix vegetable all term.

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…sleep for 8 hours. I realize this is far from plausible, especially if you have decided to hunker down and take 4 classes this term. Regardless of how much sleep you can get, however, it can’t hurt to improve the quality of your nighly Zzzs – anything from ear plugs to sound machines can help drown out unwanted sounds if you’re kept awake by late unpleasant night sounds of a neighbor.

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…get ever-so-slightly sick. Once you have an excuse to convince your friends and yourself that you can’t go out (for risk of infecting everyone, getting worse, etc.), you can truly dedicate all your free time to work, amidst other more wholesome activities. Don’t forget to reward yourself with a couple episodes of Netflix once you have make substantial progress on your paper due next week.

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… Flitz your cute TA. It’s not a half bad alternative to NROing, and who knows? The winter can be a lonely time for everyone – and you might just score yourself more than an A ;)

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To stay warm this 17W…

…hitchhike or catch a ride to West Leb and stock up on the cheapest, most egregiously colored fracket you can find. The more appallingly neon, the better. All that’s left to do is write your name in big Sharpie letters across the back and you are all set to prevent any cold, lonely walks home from Late Night sans-fracket. And most importantly – if anyone tries to steal your new pride and joy, you’ll be able to spot them all the way at the other end of Webster Ave. All that’s left to do is go for the tackle.

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… blackmail your parents into buying you a Canada Goose, or if that fails, scrutinize those who have them and dismiss them as boujee af. Only true bitterness will warm your heart.

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…find that special someone to keep you warm. Flitzing season, cuffing season, you name it, ‘tis the season. If you don’t have the physical prowess or gutsiness to hit up your cute unicorn that you see on the reg at Collis, stock up on fuzzy blankets and some red wine hot cocoa.

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… find a friend with benefits in the Choates. After a long night of frat-hopping, you will be happy to ignore the less-than-ideal dorm conditions in order to avoid that life-questioning, freezing cold walk back to the River. Alternatively, call a safe ride if you’re not feeling it. SNS are always the real homies, especially during these chilly winter months.

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…try to keep your New Year’s resolution and agree to go to the gym with friends – then proceed to instead bond over a crispy, hot meal and some warm Foco cookies, all the while talking about how you definitely should’ve gone to the gym – but it’s just too damn cold.

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…stock up on snacks. And by this, I mean buy Easy Mac. Lots and lots of Easy Mac. And ramen. The easiest way to not freeze on the walk to Foco, Collis, or the Hop is simply to not go at all. The trek to the microwave in your common room is far enough, especially when you never fail to run into your cute floormate while looking like quite the gremlin.

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…ditch your Bean Boots and get yourself a pair of these bad boys:


Laura Lewin