Texts From Last Night: Green Key Edition

By Tarika Narain | 5/23/16 1:53pm

We all know the motto for spring term’s big weekend: “Green Key is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you’re reading this, that means you made it to the finish line (unless you’re a ghost, in which case, whoa that’s dope). It was a weekend filled with alums, sunshine, EDM and a whole lot of MDF approved alcohol. But most importantly, it was the weekend for drunk texting. And just like we do every year, Dartbeat has compiled the Green Key texts you wish you could forget:

(207): I’m traumatized I can’t drink again
(207): update: I am drinking again

(678): I m just fell fell and skinned both of my sink loss
(678): *anklosea

(305): I can’t wait to consummate our friendship
(956): Amaz
(956): This is the best text I haven’t gotten

(716): How was the rest of your night?!
(214): The rest of my night was...unnecessary I guess haha
(214): Went to late night then TDX
(214): Was reminded why I never go to TDX

(732): “Flash tat and pregame” is the Netflix and chill of GK2016

(347): I’m ouise Sigep on the floor in the street land”

(305 #1): DROVO
(305 #2): Oh boy what did you eat
(305 #1): ALSANGA
(305 #1): CARTOS

(404): wanna do some of the Dartmouth 7?
*2 hours later*
(404): ?

(347): I just made out w 2 people
(207): Where are you??
(347): Hahhaha Collis common ground
(207): Are you hooking up there.......? What

(732): Casually hallucinating
(732): It’s so casual

(305): Are you alive?
(202): Y
(202): Backstrret’s back btw

(603): I had 11 drinks
(603): I feel Brest
(603): Great
(603): Andres is a really good chaser for fireball

(732): We went to LNC
(305): That’s gorgeous
(305): I’m asleep waiting for pong in SigEp
(732): That’s gorgeous too

(732): Psi u is broken
(732): Actually where am I?

(203): hey we can’t get into pop punk need a band aid

(650): dude I woke up at 12:30pm, missed my 9:30am appointment with a prof, found a trash can next to my bed with my socks in it. Can’t find my phone or shoes...
(973): I have your phone and shoes
(650): wtf did I walk home barefoot?

(925): Dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead *ghost emoji*
(732): Rip everyone

(781): lol it is pretty late for pong
(781): lets get food from novack vending machines

(781): Hey sorry about last night.. Just found out that I tried to fight you
(512): Haha no worries

(610): Yo I woke up with a case of keystone in bed with me
(610): I can’t tell if that’s ragey or just sad

Tarika Narain