21 Places That are Bad Facetime

By Stacy Livingston | 4/20/16 7:20am

Not all press is good press – and there’s no better time at Dartmouth to see and be seen than spring term. Bean boots go into hiding, I eventually muster the confidence to wear shorts (despite the inherent danger of exposing anyone to my fluorescent paleness) and the Green starts to feel a lot more crowded.

The best facetime hotspots are well known by now, but what about those places you run into everyone you know but really wish you hadn’t? (Look, it’s your freshman roommate! That guy from your LSA you drunkenly mutualled on Friendsy at 2 a.m. and immediately unclicked from panic! The professor of that class you dropped!)

Places like:

  • The high tables in the Foco entry corridor

  • The bottom of the Novack steps

  • Waiting at the Collis stoplight

  • East Wheelock snack bar (just let me microwave my second box of pizza bagels in peace)

  • Foco to go

  • Dick’s House waiting room

  • Waiting for FFB elevator (or any elevator…)

  • Heorot highlighter party as an upperclassmen

  • Parkhurst

  • Studying in front of the windows on first-floor stacks (We know you’re not working that hard! No one really wants to sit on one of those little tin chairs that looks like a prop from a “Flashdance” stage production and makes a sound like kicking a propane canister down a flight of stairs whenever you move a micrometer. You can’t fool us!)

  • The ice cream freezer at Topside

  • Entering or exiting any single stall bathroom

  • Frat row before sundown (bonus points if you’re leaving a frat between 4 and 10 a.m.)

  • Doing butt exercises at the gym

  • CVS at any time (If I run into you while I am trying to juggle a family-sized bag of cheddar popcorn, a box of tampons and a six dollar bottle of pink wine, it’s safe to say I do not want to chat. I’m sorry. Let me live.)

  • Getting sushi from Novack

  • Lingering uncomfortably in Foco lobby

  • The outside row of cardio machines (Hello, it’s me. At my sweatiest. Breathing hard. Listening to “Temperature” by Sean Paul.)

  • Playing spikeball, ever

  • Waiting for a table at Molly’s

  • And, of course, TDX basement

Stacy Livingston