5 Buttons We Wish Friendsy Had
Ahhh, Friendsy: the bane of everyone's late night exploits; the beginning of a few beautiful relationships and even more awkward Foco encounters; the digital dating experience with the combined anxiety of Orgo and frustration of Greenprint.
If you’re unfamiliar with Friendsy, it is an online dating app marketed to college students. For every profile, you are given the option of three buttons—Friends, Hookup or Date—and you can choose any combination of the three (or all three if you're feeling lonely and confused).
But we here at Dartbeat aren't satisfied with Friendsy's features: We don't think three buttons is enough to encompass the broad spectrum of relationships possible on this (sometimes uncomfortably small) campus. Here are five buttons we're hoping will make it on Friendsy’s next update:
This person is the Yankees to your Red Sox. The one you lost half-cup half-cup against in pong because they cheated. Or the one who took your stir-fry at Collis and didn't apologize. Or the one who steals your favorite machine at the gym (Thanks a lot, New Year's resolution!) No college experience is complete without a healthy rivalry. On a campus like ours, you need to keep your friends close and your nemeses closer.
This is the person you only say hi to when you’ve had a little (MDF-approved) booze in your bloodstream. And you don’t just say hi to them. Your voice involuntarily goes up four octaves and you shout HEYYYY OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S YOU HOW AAAAARE YOU. You two are best friends in an alternate, kind of hazy universe, and it’s probably going to stay that way for the next four years.
A LinkedIn invite is worth a thousand words. You've probably never spoken to your Networker in real life, but you and that "Student at Dartmouth College" have an infallible Internet bond (that is, until you actually ask them for help with jobs).
The unicorn is the mystical creature whose name you don't know, yet who you’ve smiled and nodded at on campus for three years. You can't escape your unicorn: your unicorn is at the gym when you’re at the gym; your unicorn is in an impossible number of your classes; your unicorn accidentally takes your KAF drink because you always order the same thing at the same time. Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something...
You may think this is the same as clicking "Hookup," but it’s not. We’re all in search of "The One": the strong side to our weak side, the save to our sink, the partner who’ll get down on one knee to hunt for that rogue pong ball. Much like Dartmouth Secure, the pong partner connection comes only once in a lifetime and you need to seize it!