16 Things You’re Already Sick of Saying Sophomore Summer

By Hayley Hoverter | 7/10/15 8:46am


The '17s have finally made it to Dartmouth’s most highly anticipated term, and we’re all excited to see if sophomore summer is everything that it’s chalked up to be. But a week into the term and there are already a ton of things we’re sick of talking about. Of course, being jaded this early doesn’t bode well for these nineweeks. Here’s a list of the things we already know you’re going to be sick of saying a lot this term:

  1. “No, I’m not in summer school”

Hats off to our heroes in green —people who interject and reveal themselves as Dartmouth alumni or their relatives before I try to explain our schedule. And let’s face it, no matter how many family functions we explain sophomore summer, we know Aunt Susan still has her doubts you’re not retaking classes.

2.“Nice to meet you, are you also a sophoh sorry! Hahahaha!”

You’re a sophomore. This term is called sophomore summer. There are wise fools everywhere. She is almost definitely a sophomore. Yet you asked. You failed in this conversation and there’s no turning back. Luckily this has only happened to me like three times this past week.

3. “Where off campus are you living?

Basically everyone is living off campus this term. Which is unfortunate because although Hanover may be tiny, before now there was never any reason to know the names of any of the remote streets in town. For example, did you know that the street next to the gym is called “Spring Street” and not “The Street Next to the Gym?” It doesn’t even matter that every place in Hanover is basically a 5 to 10 minute walk from wherever you are, you’re going to be on Apple Maps a lot. Also, Pro Tip: —some streets in Hanover don’t show up on the GPS.

4. “Is this the highest setting on your fan?”

You love your friends, but visiting them in their room with a tiny desk fan is turning into a literal trip to hell. So you’re going to want to let them know that this term it’s either going to be you or the fan. They’ll probably choose the fan.

5.“I’m on my way!” *not on your way*

Time flies when you’re having fun. And it’s so nice out! What’s another 10 minutes outside? As long as the birds are chirping and the sky is blue, you’re going to be late a lot this summer.

6. Ice Cream 4 U?

Yes plz, ice cream 4 me. New Hampshire’s beloved ice cream has already become a subject on the minds of all and on the shirts of many (their scoops are whatever term bigger than huge is). Pose it as a question and everyone knows it’s driving time. Pose it as a verb, and you’ll get a lot of weird looks (still trying to make “Are we Ice Cream 4 U-ing today?” a thing).

7. That person is a ’17?

Sophomore summer is the term when you realize you don’t know nearly as many people as you think. It’s probably a good thing that you haven’t met everyone yet, though, so you can make new friends. But seriously, are you sure he’s not a ’16?

8. Is that a layup?

We asked about layups so often during the first week of classes, you’d think we were trying out for the NBAs/WNBAs (*duh-duh-swish!). Of course, we must recognize that the concept of layups is flawed because we go to a very rigorous school where all classes are difficult and we shouldn’t just take classes for an easy A. But yeah dude, I heard that class is a sick layup. I didn’t know it was offered in the summer. Are there any spots left?

9. Where is everyone?

The campus sure is empty, with about 3/4 of it gone. I imagined all of our sophomore class would all be on the Green and we’d all line up to high five each other between classes. But sadly, this isn’t the ending of Grease. So it’s more like five of us are in each location on campus at any given time (to those of you who did the math, it might not seem like it makes sense, but it depends on how you define ‘location’).

10. Is Collis open right now?

You’ve probably noticed that the Hop is closed this summer and Collis’ hours are already confusing us. Are weekdays’ times different this term? Is Collis even open on the weekends? Is Late Night open earlier this term? I still don’t know and I need answers.

11. Want to go on a hike?

Hikes are so integral to life at Dartmouth that rumor has it that Dr. Seuss initially wrote Green Eggs and Ham about Dartmouth’s hiking obsession. Here it is:

Do you like to go on hikes afar?

We do like them because Dartmouth students we are (sorry)

We would like them up the Ravine, we like them where we go skiing, we like them up Moosilauke, we would even like them while we jog.

Would you, could you by a stream? Would you, could you with your sports team?

Would you, could you in non-woolen socks? Would you, could you up this here rock?

Dartmouth students like their hikes here and there.

We like them everywhere!

  1. Wanna meet on the Green?

  1. Are you taking two classes this summer?

14.The Letter X

Sun’s out, puns out. You feel extreme amounts of pressure to turn the phrase “15X” into something meaningful, but alas not many words start with an “x”. You’re welcome for this very astute observation. Good luck with naming your Facebook album.

15.Hey, long time no see!

You saw this person yesterday, but you think you’re hilarious so will be saying this all summer long. Maybe you’re secretly delighted that you can see all of your friends everyday around campus, but you give them a half-hearted wave so they still feel like getting meals with you to “catch up.”

16.What do you want to do?

We all know college students get extreme FOMO (remember the Great Blackout of 15S when we couldn’t check Facebook for like four hours?) and sophomore summer ‘tis the FOMO Season. There’s so much to do, so many Dartmouth traditions to fulfill, so many things to see, so we’re going to be pretty antsy to getting our 15X bucket list all done. But sometimes it’s just nice to take a note from our friends who are at home this summer and laze around.

Hayley Hoverter