14 Things You Never Knew You Needed a Dartmouth Logo On

By Grace Miller, The Dartmouth Staff | 5/13/15 6:13am

Of course, with school spirit comes school swag. Even if you look like a slob, it has been proven that if you're wearing something with a Dartmouth logo on it, no one is allowed to confront you. But where do you draw the line with the logo? I investigated to find the 15 things that you never knew you needed the Dartmouth logo on.

1. Pong Balls
Product Design team: Yo, you know what the kids dig these days? Pong.
Every student on a Friday night: *loses pong ball instantly*

2. Corn Hole Game
Let Dartmouth be there with you as you get it in the hole.

3. Lollipop
Mmmmm tastes like students’ tears and Keystone — and apparently marshmallows? Just eat a damn marshmallow you savage.

4. Baby Onesie
“Can you say mama? Ma-ma, ma-ma”
“leg-a-cy, leg-a-cy”

5. Camo Hat
“I really want to blend in, but not enough that people don’t know I went to an Ivy”

6. “Oh the places you’ll go” Infant T-shirt
The place you’ll go is Dartmouth or else Grandpa is disowning you.

7. Dartmouth Hall T-shirt
Perfect for every time you want to remember someone snapping in your face at 7:45 am or the time you completed the Dartmouth Seven — good on you.

8. “Think Hanover” Shirt

9. High-quality Jewelry
For when you don’t quite want to break out the diamonds but you want something that says ~*class*~.

10. Scarf Pendant
“It’s so cold I need a scarf, but I’m nervous it will cover my beautiful Dartmouth pendant. What do I do?!?”

11. Moose Thing
1. Why?
2. What are you?
3. Is our mascot a moose?
4. Stop trying to make Dartmoose happen, it’s not going to happen.

12. Horse Socks
But when will I find an occasion to combine my love of horse-riding, wearing stupid outfits and Dartmouth?! Oh.

13. Underwear
“Tell me more about your D’s plan.”

14. Strange Small Glasses
This was the item that confused me the most — why make such small drinking glasses? What foreign liquid would you want such a small amount of? It’s a hard question that I wont even take a shot at answering.

And a final moment of silence for the death of the M&M dispensers in Traditionally Trendy. Oh, what could have been. RIP.

Grace Miller, The Dartmouth Staff