By You | 4/17/15 6:04am

Girl 1: "Oh, I'm two for two."
Girl 2: "What?"
Girl 1: "Nights drunk. In a row."

Girl: “All these ambitious people running for president make me feel so lazy. What’s so wrong with wanting to be a trophy wife?”

’18 student: "What is sunlight?”
’18 student: “What do you mean?”
’18 student: “Just…CS 50."

‘18 guy: "I don't care if I contribute to society. I just want society to recognize me as a hero."

'18 girl: "Why does he reciprocate oral sex but not text messages?"

’16 guy: "I don’t know if I'm using the right terminology here, but there's a glory hole in the Orozco bathroom."

SOCY Prof: "I'm glad we solved that Twitter problem. Now, back to Marx and Weber!"

’16 guy: “You seem like someone who would have a favorite shoe repair store.”
’16 guy: “I have a guy.”

’16 guy, after R. Kelly’s “Ignition: Remix” comes on: “Oooh, it’s Nelly! Gimme that choo choo, gimme that meep meep.”