By You | 2/6/15 7:25am

'15:"People think it’s bad to drunk blitz your ex, but drunk blitzing your prof? It’s hard to go to office hours once you’ve told her that she looks like Megan Fox.”

’17: “How can I tell him that I hate his fraternity but I still want to have sex with him?”

’16 (during lab): “I’ve never been so emotionally involved with a cockroach.”

’18 #1: "What do you call a war between two countries? Like not a civil war." '18 #2: "A war?"

’11 (via Facebook chat): “Pretty sure this hard alcohol ban is secretly co-sponsored by Keystone Light.”