Be Your Own Inventor: Ways to Cool Off

By Jessica Zischke, The Dartmouth Senior Staff | 7/16/14 1:24pm

Sophomore summer is full of wonderful things — farmer’s markets, sunshine, swimming in the river—but there are two things that have a deep-rooted hatred of sophomore summer and will attempt to destroy it. These enemies have names: heat and humidity.

On the most unbearable days, your room is probably reminiscent of a sauna, although this time it isn’t a relaxing, cleansing one but instead one that is disgusting and sticky. So you may be looking for some room hacks to cool you off, and we’ve found just the ones to help!

1.For the traditionalist. A fan definitely goes a long way to helping with the heat, especially at night. Unfortunately, if you have it on during the day you’re likely to only blow more hot air into your room. Sitting right in front of it with the speed on full blast will hopefully provide you with a cooling breeze.

2. For the rule-breaker. Just stop wearing clothes. They only make you warmer, so you’re probably better off without them.

3. For the hermit. Hide in a basement and never leave. Heat rises, everybody knows that!

4. For the foodie. Stick as much of your body as possible into a refrigerator and/or freezer periodically throughout the day. Bonus points for combining this with snack time and/or instagramming your achievement.












5. For the foodie who is not in a refrigerator. Restrict yourself to only consuming cold items. Knock yourself out on Collis smoothies, FoCo popsicles, Morano and any form of ice.

6. For the philosophy major. Tell yourself that the heat isn’t actually real. What do you really know about sense experience?

7. For the rebel/vampire. Become nocturnal and only go out at the coolest, darkest times of night.

8. For the athlete/NARP who just looks good in Nike shorts. Just stay at the gym all the time. People will be impressed with your commitment to fitness— just.make sure you get a spot right in front of a fan!

9. For the engineer. Come up with some insanely complicated invention that turns your entire room into a large arctic dreamland. Then blitz it in to Dartbeat! Don’t worry about getting a patent —we’ll help you take care of that.








10. For the couch potato. Stare at photos of ice. Feel cooler? No? Eh.

Jessica Zischke, The Dartmouth Senior Staff